Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.

Once again, unbeknownst to myself even, I have apparently taken a hiatus from blogging. It really sucks and I wish I was more diligent about it, but ahh, I'm not.

In all honesty nothing has really changed so much from my last post. Sadly. Ha- that's not really saying much for myself except I guess that I lack willpower and self control. So yeah, two wonderful qualities to possess. Not. What was I talking about in my last post? Oh yeah, my drinking. It's really becoming an issue to me lately- I'm wondering if it's mostly in my head from obsessing over my failures to stop or control it, or if it's actually a problem. Most likely the latter. I haven't made any mistakes like I have a couple weeks ago with it, namely because I haven't had a chance to make those same mistakes since the people I made those mistakes with aren't really pro me right now. I drunkenly did stuff with someone that I shouldn't have done and there was someone else there whom I have also done stuff with so yeah, looks like I'm 0 for 2. They're both annoyed with me about the other which is understandable. I wish so bad that I could take that night back, but I can't. As of lately it's been constantly hanging over my head and I just want it to stop. The weekend after that I not so surprisingly drank again. In my defense, I never did get drunk, but still. Moving along to this past weekend I still not so surprisingly drank yet again. Now, I honestly didn't think I drank all that much- I have been a lot worse in my opinion and in the opinion of my friends, but for some reason, when I woke up the next morning (I even slept about 8 hours) I had no hangover at all because I was still drunk. I didn't even start to get a hangover until that night at around 11:30. It was horrible and lasted for the rest of the awful weekend. Anyway, in case you haven't seen a pattern yet, the problem is still there. Earlier today I heard something which really made me want to change. I'm not really hopeful, but we'll see.

I really just need a fresh start in a new city and new people to surround myself with.

Love and light.

Little do you know

I'm not even going to bother with all the sorry's about how I haven't posted in forever, about how I thought about it, but didn't. No, I'm not going to do that. The fact of the matter is that things in my life are just so messed up that I don't even want to post about it half the time. That's the reality of it. I mean why would I want to constantly draw negative attention towards myself... right?

Tonight, I just felt compelled to write and I figured that I shouldn't ignore such a feeling. Everything going on in my life lately have just been getting to me. Like a lot a lot. I feel like I'm spiraling out of control and I need to find my balance. That's the thing about being out of control, though, you can't control it. I'm a mess. My life is a mess. I am wreckage. I'm not even saying this to get attention, no, I'm saying it to let it out. Let it all pour out of my soul and on to paper, well, cyber paper. I need to get my life together because this is ridiculous. I'm just so goddamn frustrated with myself and how my life is going; I'm sick of feeling stuck. I'm caught in quicksand and I feel as though there's no one throwing a rope, and right now, I feel like that's the only way I'm going to be able to stand again. Someone just throw me a rope. Hmm. Scratch that, that's petty. At least in my eyes. I don't need someone to save me because it's my own responsibility and no one else's. Don't get me wrong, the general nature of my being is not constantly "woe is me", I am (in my opinion at least) generally a happy, care free, friendly person. I love and appreciate the beauty in life and nature, but sometimes I feel like the world is resting on my shoulder, I'm stressed out, frustrated, mad, angry, disappointed, and sad. Lately I realized how much of a mess I am. I had a rude awakening last weekend and realized that I should probably start to control my drinking. Seriously. It was one of those "I'm never drinking again" nights. I don't even remember everything that happened, it just hit me all of a sudden and I was gone, checked out, and not coming back for a long time. Not able to walk gone, not being able to sit up on my own gone, not able to speak coherently gone, and not able to even hold a water bottle gone. Again, I'm not saying this to draw attention to myself; I see this as negative attention. I'm actually just talking about it because it is so ridiculous. I always wake up smelling like alcohol and bad decisions, and believe me, I made plenty of bad decisions this past weekend. I'm basically just asking for trouble and setting myself up for failure, and that, that's the absolute truth of the matter. I need to calm down. I'm not even going to lie and say that I'm never going to drink again because I know damn well that won't happen. I just need to control it. I can't go back to how I was this past weekend, it wasn't pretty. My situation with guys isn't that much better, either. Like damn, self, what's going on?

So yeah, I need life rehab.

Love & Light

Emotions

I'm in some type of mood tonight and I don't know why. Well, I do know why, but when I think about the reasons they just seem so pity and I don't like how it bothers me. I'm feeling over emotional and I hate when I get like this. I guess I'm used to just having some sort of wall up all the time and when it crumbles, I do the same. I don't keep everything bottled up inside of me, but I'm used to things not bothering me; I'm always so go-with-the-flow that I get surprised on those rare moments when things do bother me. I just hate the way I'm feeling tonight.

Recollections

It's here; the last day of me being 23. It's bittersweet because 23 has been good to me. Three hundred and sixty-five days of lessons about life, love, friendships, and relationships. I've made my share of bad decisions as well as some good decisions. Overall, I'm grateful for every moment and for the people who have stuck it out with me through it all. I've had friends come and go, but in the end, I know that everything is where it's meant to be now.

She’s a little bit of heaven with a wild side

So it's been a little bit of a while since I've posted. Everyday I tell myself that I'll make time to write later, but that doesn't always turn out how I would like. Anyway, today is the start of my birthday week. It's bittersweet. I'm going to miss being 23, it's been a good year for me, but I know that 24 will have a lot of adventures and memories as well.

I've been sick since Wednesday night (big shocker there) and I'm just now feeling better. I just need to get rid of this sore throat and cough. I stayed in all of Friday wishing that I just felt better and not sick. But you know, wishing doesn't always make something happen. Saturday I went to a friend's music performance at a high school. I hadn't been to a HS play or musical in so long! It was really good, though. After that I ended up seeing a couple people and then I left later that night to go see someone I hadn't seen in a while. Today has been a typical Sunday for me which consists of me not really doing anything at all. I did of course watch The Walking Dead tonight, so I have that going for me. I'm just so sore today and my whole body hurts so I've been in my bed the majority of today.

I've decided that I'm not going to make excuses for myself anymore. I realize that some of my actions may hurt other people and it's not something that I purposely intend on doing, it just happens. I think I might live too much in the moment sometimes and I tend to make snap decisions in the moment as well. That's not a bad thing per say, but thinking more things through wouldn't be such a bad thing, either, I guess. I'm just a strong believer in carpe diem. I'd rather look back on my life and have a few regrets here and there than look back and think "would if?".

Don't hold yourself back, take advantage of moments, make memories, have stories to tell, and never regret.

Love&Light,
Namaste ॐ ‏

You didn't come into this world. You came out of it, like a wave from the ocean. You are not a stranger here.

There's really not much in this life that I could say hurts more than watching someone you love start using again. I hate seeing the change in actions and attitude. Normally my opinion is "it's your life, so what's right for you...", but this is different. This is dangerous. I've been through so much already; I remember the ODs, I remember always being so worried every time my phone would ring from an unknown number- afraid of what the person on the other line might say, and if someone would knock on the door or ring the bell I would always be so scared that they would tell me you're not coming back. It's gone past smoking and I've already seen what the class A and B can do to someone and I don't want to see you spiral down. Not you. One day you're going to go too far and you're not going to come back from it and that will be the day that my life falls apart.

The lamps are different, but the lights are the same.

I wanted to post, but I really don't have too much to say. This weekend had the potential to be a lot more than it was; I really haven't done much of anything at all. Obviously I already wrote a little bit about Friday and how I burned myself. I swear I'm going to cry if it leaves a big scar. Well, maybe not cry, but I'll be sad.

Saturday I didn't do too much, I went out to lunch with a friend and then out on an adventure to find some hookah/vape stores. I ended up buying a new apple e-liquid which I was really excited about trying, and I surprisingly really liked it. I'm really into the fruit flavors and it's always a hit or miss with e-liquids. They're always either a fake candy-like flavor, they taste like poison, or they hardly have any flavor at all. This one, however, actually had a true fruit flavor which is what I like. I got this one in a low nic level, which is actually a lower level from last time, so we'll see how this goes. Anyway, later on I had about 3 different options of things that I could do, but all 3 things fell through. Story of my life. Well, one of them I just decided that I probably shouldn't do, so it was my choice. All in all, it actually ended up to be a good night.

Today, Sunday, I literally did the equivalent of nothing. I slept in late and watched Hulu and Netflix for the majority of the day and it was wonderful. Also, The Walking Dead season 4 premiered tonight, which of course is the best show ever, so I was super excited for that. I just wish I had someone to watch it with me. But blahblahblah who cares. I'm just in bed now about to watch another episode of SVU before bed. I really wish I could just go to sleep now, but I'm not even tired.

Since I missed my weekly favorites post (surprise, surprise) I'll just talk quickly about the music that I've been listening to lately. A while ago, I was on Twitter and I saw a tweet from someone I follow who said that if you like indie music that you should go look up a band called Daughter, so I did, and honestly I have not stopped listening to them ever since! They are amazing; all their lyrics are so perfectly poetic and the harmonies and everything are perfect. I normally don't even rave about an artist or band this much, but when I say that you should look them up - you should. My personal favorites so far from all the hundreds of times that I've listened are Youth (which is probably my number one) and then Smother, Medicine, and Human. I'm seriously getting all excited even talking about them. So, go look them up... now... you'll be happy you did.

Okay, time for me to get off here so I can get ready for slumber.

Love and light. Namaste.

If it's not one thing, it's another.

Well, it's Friday night and I'm home in bed already so I decided I might as well post. Posting 2 days in a row? I know, I'm surprised, too. Feel free to pat me on the back. It's so weird, because it doesn't feel like a Friday at all since I'm already home, but oh well. I'm allowed to be lame every once in a while.

Today has been... okay? Started off pretty slow, I finally (hallelujah) got my nails done today. It was much needed. Later, I had an event at work to go to for which I was stuck making popcorn most of the night. Not really where I ideally would have liked to have been, but it is what it is. I actually started off making snow cones, and the first snow cone that I made I ended up spilling all the flavor juice all over my shirt. So that was just awesome. Not even 10 minutes into the event and I was already sticky and stained my shirt. After that I switched to making popcorn when I scorched the top of my wrist on the kettle. Honestly, it's always something with me; I swear that I have the worst luck sometimes. I'm so clumsy, but I can't help it. I of course had to fill out an accident report and it was suggested for me to go to an emergency room. So that's where I got to spend my Friday night, I'm sure everyone is quite jealous. Apparently according to the Dr. I burned it pretty bad and was prescribed some ointment and pain medicine. Thank god, because this pain isn't fun. I wish I didn't have to wait until tomorrow to pick it up, though. For now I'll just keep the wrap on and throw myself a pity party. I just hope it doesn't scar.

Aside from the event not being all that great for me, I just haven't been feeling today (technically yesterday) in general. There's been some changes in my life that I'm having to get used to, and I'm not really thrilled about it. Just changes in relationships with friends... I know it's not a bad thing, because of the situation that changed it, but it's still kind of blah sometimes. Out with the old and in with the new I guess. I'll still put a smile on my face either way. I was supposed to see GIWW tonight, but that never happened, which was weird... I sent him a message earlier to see if everything was okay, but he has still to reply. I don't know if I should be mad or worried; I guess I'll be a little bit of both. Honestly, though, I haven't really seen a lot of people in a while. BGJJ is always busy and that kind of sucks, I know he still does try to keep communication open, so that's good at least. Oh, and then next, RBG and I haven't talked or seen each other in forever, which I guess is my fault... well not really my fault, more like my decision which I like to go back on every now and then. Anyway, we were going strong with the silence for about a month and then he decides to call me up a couple days ago to tell me that he misses me and we should get together. What? I just laughed a little, which looking back, I could have gone without doing. All I could really think of to say was "Oh nice... I like how you waited a whole month to tell me this." Really though. It just doesn't make much sense to me. How are you going to wait that long to tell me? I think I might know why, but I'm not a hundred percent, so I'll keep it to myself.

I'll probably just watch last night's episode of Grey's Anatomy and tweet some more before I fall asleep. I'm so glad I can actually sleep for a while in the morning! Hopefully sleep comes easy to me and I don't feel my wrist too much.

Have a safe weekend everyone; have beautiful dreams!

Namaste

I am not afraid of my truth anymore and I will not omit pieces of me to make you comfortable.

I love that quote. I think that I'm slowly accepting myself for everything I am and everything that I'm not. I don't want to hide pieces of me just to keep certain other people happy, or like the quote says, "comfortable". If someone is going to be in my life then they'll just have to accept me as I am. For all the things I do... and don't do. I'm just me and there's really not much else I can say about that. I'm not going to change for anyone, so if you're looking to be apart of my life, please don't try and change me cause you're the only one who's going to get disappointed. In the past I've allowed myself to be in some unhealthy friendships and relationships. I was young and naive; I put up with too much, and looking back, I realized that I wasted a lot of time with the wrong person when I could have been focusing on growing and bettering myself as a single individual. I just let things go on way longer than I should have and now that's just time that I won't be getting back. I wish I could go back sometimes and make wiser relationship choices, but hey, that's just a part of growing up. At least we're able to look back as we get older to learn and grow.

“Mindfulness helps you go home to the present. And every time you go there and recognize a condition of happiness that you have, happiness comes.” - Thich Nhat Hanh

Lately I've been wishing that I was more content with my life right now. Content with current relationships and the way that things are going and progressing, but I'm not. I have an inner battle where I go back and forth wondering if I want to be content with things just because I know I'm not content for a reason; i.e., I think I'm settling and compromising, or if I want to be content just because I'm being picky and things aren't perfect. It's honestly probably a little of both.

"Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker"

I've been so frustrated lately with how some things are going and I've been finding myself back on the kick of sometimes wanting to be in a relationship, but then soon after I talk myself out of it, coaching myself that I'm not ready. Now, to get in a little discussion: I was recently told that one cannot "like more than one person at the same time." Well, that's all good and fine if that's what you want to think. More power to you for sure, I just so happen to have a different opinion. If I was in a relationship, however, I feel differently. If I was in a relationship and felt attracted to someone else, I would probably think about breaking up with whoever I was with and decide that it wasn't the right thing to be together. But me, being a single adult, I personally believe that it's perfectly acceptable to like more that one person. My soul and spirit cannot be constrained and are free to like who I please. It's not something I can really control. I believe that human beings are not monogamous by nature. It's in our human nature to be sexually attracted to each other and sometimes act on it. Remember, this is all just by personal opinion and I'm writing from my forever alone perspective. (Ha.) I'm aware that people are going to disagree with me and have different opinions. Every so often certain people come around and an instant connection is felt with them; a coming together of two souls, and we naturally become infatuated. Just because I say that I "like" or "love" someone doesn't mean I want to marry them all. There are differences with each person and feeling. Here are some Greek words for love and their meanings:

Eros. From the Greek word for "erotic or passionate"; a passionate, physical, sexual, and emotional love based on aesthetic enjoyment, sensual desire, and longing; stereotype of romantic love. 

Ludus. From the Latin word meaning "sport or play, a love that is played as a game or sport; conquest. May have multiple partners at once. This love is playful, flirtatious and carefree. Ludus lovers do not care much about commitment as having fun and being spontaneous. 

Storge. means "affection" in ancient and modern Greek. It is natural affection, like that felt by parents for offspring. An affectionate love that slowly develops from friendship, based on similarity. Familiar (family) love. 

Pragma. From the Greek word meaning "practical"; love that is driven by the head, not the heart; practical and non-emotional. Undemonstrative. With pragma love, the costs and benefits are carefully weighed before entering into a relationship. 

Mania. From the Greek word meaning "frenzy"; highly volatile. Obsessive love; experience great emotional highs and lows; very possessive and often jealous lovers. 

Agape. From the Greek word meaning "divine or spiritual”; selfless, enduring, unconditional, and altruistic love; spiritual; true love. Agape is considered the purest and truest form of love.

I've been on a journey lately to better myself. I've been slowly letting go of everything that I've been trained to believe and I'm starting to finally realize things for myself. I'm starting fresh and it's a beautiful thing. I'm making a change in the way I view myself and others, as well as how I view things. I'm learning to forgive things in my past and situations that have happened that I think have had a negative effect in how I view relationships at times. I'm trying so hard to move on and not think about certain things and it's getting better. I need more patience because I know that it's a slow process. I'm forgiving people so I can move on. I am not my past and you are not your past; there are brighter days ahead. Release everything you're holding inside and open up your mind, allow your mind to become clear. Life is so much better when you allow yourself to get into that place.

May all beings be well and free of suffering. Namaste.

These are the days that must happen to you.

Well hello, beautiful creatures! I feel like it's been so long since I've actually taken the time to sit down and write something serious. I figured that today was as good a day as any. I've been way too in my feeling today and I need an outlet. Honestly, I just haven't been feeling today at all. Too much drama earlier. Unexpected, unnecessary drama. I wish I could just go back and erase the whole afternoon. I just didn't feel like myself today at all.

I don't know why I've been feeling so down lately, but I have been, and I'm not a fan of this feeling. I know I just need to snap out of it, but I don't know... I can't. There are these little thing called "over thinking" and "over analyzing" and I've been doing a real good job of it. I've allowed myself to let thoughts and memories slip in my mind that have no business being there. I'm just stuck in a never ending cycle of wishing things are different, but knowing they're not going to be. I need some good vibes in my life right now, so someone send some to me. Thanks.

I've been on a subconscious search lately for something that has meaning; so far, I've only hit dead ends. I think I've just been feeling tied down and bored with my surroundings. I need change. I desire change. A change of surroundings would be nice. New people, new thoughts, new scenery. Something has got to give, because this isn't cutting it.

And here starts the complaining, but it's okay, cause today is not my day and I can complain every once in a while, alright. I hate how I'm not really friends with some people now. I'm not a fan of where I work. I don't like feeling like nothing is ever going to change. I hate when things aren't consistent. I hate when people aren't consistent. I hate how I always seem to make the wrong choice. I hate disappointing people. I don't like where I am. I hate when people are flaky. I don't like the feeling when you know that you and someone else are growing apart. I hate having fights with people that I love. And... I hate that I was able to come up with so many things that I hate.

Okay, well I do want to write more, but I have work early and I'm really tired. So this is it for now.

Have lovely dreams.

So far gone.

Once upon a time
I thought that I could always
trust you.
I thought that you'd always be the one to
protect me.
That if I needed you
you'd be there.

You've changed so much, and I know I have to.
You hurt me with your words.
I don't know why you would.
I don't see how you can look at me and feel
fine about things that you say sometimes.
You say that I don't get over things,
but you don't realize how much I have
gotten over.
Always trying to look past things.
Sometimes it's just too much.
I need a
break.

I know I'm not perfect.
I never said I was.
Yeah,
sometimes I may have an attitude about things,
but that still doesn't give you an excuse to
say what you say
and
do what you do.

I am weak.
My hands are shaking.
Uncontrollably.
Even as I type.
My leg gave out on me and it's
shaking.
I've lost the feeling in my leg and
I'm scared.
I don't want to repeat the past.
Neurological issues.
It's horrible.
After what happened I can't take any type of stress or I'll start
losing control.
Of my balance and motor skills.
I hate it.

I can feel everything around me
spiraling
out
of
control.
I feel myself shutting down,
shutting out the world.
I don't want to be like that,
but I'm breaking.
I'm broken.

I'm so far gone
and
I'm so far over it.

s.l.

I let you go, I let you fly, why do I keep on asking why? (Weekly Favorites)

Happy Saturday, everyone! I hope you've all had a lovely day. I've had an amazing (and pretty lazy) day. I got to sleep in this morning and catch up on some TV shows that I missed this week. Also, I dyed my hair today. If I think about it, I'll post pictures later.

Soooo, on to my favorites! I don't know why, but this is starting to get pretty tedious for me to do. It's a nice idea, but I'm not that interesting to come up with something new each week.

Okay anyway, I'll get on with it...

---

Song/Artist: Broken Vow // Josh Groban. Dear Lord, that man is beautiful and he can sing. <3

TV Show: Grey's Anatomy. I'm so sad that it's Cristina's last season.

Food: I had some Cajun Chicken Pasta from Chili's earlier this week that was quite fantastic.

Moment: Hmm, I guess yesterday or today. Probably today though since I probably did the equivalent of nothing.

---

Well clearly I got this post in right on time. I'll probably try to get a serious post in later tonight, but this is it for now.

Namaste, beautiful people.

We're not the same, dear, as we used to be.

... "The seasons have changed and so have we."

So I was just laying in bed thinking about things, as I so commonly do when the sky is dark and my mind is allowed to wander, and it really hit me all of a sudden how things have changed so much from the beginning of the year. Namely the people I surround myself with have changed a lot.

Change. It happens, you can either go with it or run from it. Lately I've just noticed that I'm not as close with certain people as I used to be. It's life, but it doesn't mean I have to like it. I'm really glad for the friends I can go months without seeing, but when we are able to hang out, it's like nothing ever changed. With others, you just sit there in silence, not saying anything, because you both realize that you share nothing in common with each other anymore; that you've been growing apart. "Growing apart" I hate that phrase. Everyone has a time in your life, and sometimes that time runs out a little early.

Cleaning up. What I've been doing lately. Not cleaning up as in tidying a room- I mean cleaning up my life. I've come to the conclusion that I tend to keep people in my life way longer than I should, and I don't want to do that anymore. I'm not trying to sound mean, but sometimes I need to do things for me. There's been too many people who would always just bring me down whenever I would talk to them, and I knew it, but I just went with it. Not anymore. Over the weekend I cleaned out my phone, and when I clean out my phone, if I delete the whole thread of messages between me and a certain person, that's how I know I'm leaving everything in the past and I'm starting new. I also cleared out some pictures and deleted numbers. It was a pretty successful phone cleaning.

I'm going to start distancing myself from all the negative, close-minded, and judgmental people in my life so I can make room for those who are positive and accepting. Only good vibes from here on out. So sorry if I don't talk to certain people as much lately, chances are you're one of the ones I'm distancing myself from.

Have a beautiful night. Be free. Open your mind.

Don't waste your worry on me, I always find what I need. (Weekly favorites)

Ahh, well it's Saturday night and I'm not even out. Like what? This never happens. Figured that since I'm not doing anything tonight, I might as well post this weekly favorites post since I always forget. So far tonight I've accomplished buying everything from Dessa, Banks, and The Weeknd, I guess you can say it's been a musically successful night. I could go for some wine right now while I watch the season premiere of Greys Anatomy since I missed it on Thursday. 

Now Playing: Fall Over // Banks

---

Song/Artist: Ever since I saw The Weeknd, I've been listening to a lot of: Waiting Game // Banks

TV Show: A lot this week, Big Bang Theory, New Girl, Parks and Rec, Modern Family

Drink: Hmm nothing too amazing this week, I've taking it a little easy on the drinking since I'm still all congested.

Food: Gringos quesadillas. Need I say more.

Clothing/Accessory: my charm bracelet. Nothing out of the ordinary, though.

Moment: Tuesday night when I got to see Banks and The Weeknd. Definitely.

Namaste

Bring the drugs, baby, I can bring my pain.

... I got my heart right here. I got my scars right here.

It's my official weekend right now and I'm so excited! Well, I'm still sick, just sinus/allergy stuff, but I'm not going to let that stop me.

Tonight, I'm going out to this place called Byzantio's. It's this chill Greek cafe & bar and on Thursdays they have belly dancers. I'd honestly be there a lot more if it was closer to me! Oh how I wish I lived in Midtown. They have a good hookah selection there, also, so I'm trying to decide if I feel like smoking tonight because I still have a sore-ish throat. IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY. Ha. And yes, that was a literal yell. I can't stand when my throat is messed up and I can't stop coughing. It's the most annoying thing to me. It's been a while since I've smoked some good shisha so I'm thinking that I will probably, most likely, smoke some. At least a hit. I'll just rest up before I leave and overdose on some Vitamin C and maybe do a line of Emergen-C. No big deal. I'm definitely going to be filling my clutch with Emergen-C packets tonight, no exception. I'll just add it to whatever I'll be drinking. Tequila & Emergen-C. Cause that's healthy... right?

Tuesday night, I went and saw The Weeknd at Bayou Music Center. I'm so in love. He performed songs from his album Kiss Land as well as the classics. And his opening act, Banks, was super chill, also. Definitely going to be buying her EP. Overall it was just a really awesome night. I even had a contact high from everyone who was lighting up by the time I left. Ha, kidding. I don't even think that's a thing.

Well, hopefully this will be a good weekend with good vibes. We'll see. They usually always end with some kind of story by the end of it. Namely alcohol and bad decisions.

Namaste XO

There is a light that never goes out.

We can't go back, we can only go forward.

Hello! Happy Sunday Funday to everyone! Except I'm sick and it hasn't been a real fun day. Sad day for me. I've honestly been in bed all day overdosing on vitamin C and feeling miserable and sorry for myself. I've had nothing better to do all day than think. About life. Relationships. Everything. So instead of letting all my mindless thoughts build up and explode into nothingness, I finally decided that I would just try to blog- even though even as I type, my fingers, along with the rest of my body aches.

So yeah. This weekend has been... interesting... if you will. A lot of unexpected things happened. Which I guess is basically the story of my life.

One of my friends called me up on Friday to see if he could stop over with one of his friends to kill time before they went to a movie. They came over and asked if I wanted to go, and since I was plan-less since my previous plans had fallen through I said yes. Closer to the time we were supposed to leave it started pouring and they decided not to bother with the movie. My hookah deprived self suggested that we go out to a hookah bar since the last time we had tried it was closed. This particular hookah bar is a byob, so naturally, we stopped to get some drinks. We picked up a bottle of wine- moscato, I think, and I got some lime-a-ritas. Once we got there I had the wine, I was feeling so good and was a little annoyed that I got the lime-a-ritas instead of another bottle of wine. We tried to sell them off, but didn't really have luck without being ripped off. The hookah was so good, but maybe that was also because I had been without it for so long and I've just been solely on my vape flow for the past 5 weeks. I like vaping, don't get me wrong, but I just personally prefer smoking shisha. I started to drink more than I was smoking at some point and I could feel a buzz starting. My friend called one of his friends to come out a little after we got there and he showed up with another bottle of wine. So exciting. Ha. I seriously need to step my wine game up, that stuff is good. Well, I guess we ended up staying there for maybe about 3 and a half hours. By time we left it was around 1:20 and we decided to go out to a bar. We only had about 30 minutes left by time we got there and I was already swaying. I ended up running into this guy I knew there who I really don't get to see all that much, so that was nice. He kept saying that he wanted to chill after, and I kept saying that I should probably just get home and sleep cause I was tired. While BGJJ was getting the car, his roommate was outside talking to me saying that I should go and that they would just drive me and then take me back later. I said I wasn't sure, and then out of no where he tells me that I better not hurt him (BGJJ) cause he was a really nice guy and that I better realize that, and that if I did he would be really upset. I already know that he's a nice guy and I told his roommate that I knew he was and that I had no intention of hurting him. I told him that I would go over, but that I would rather my friends just drop me off so I could get my car first and then drive back over. Once I got home, BGJJ calls and says that he would rather just pick me up cause he would feel better if I didn't drive and after me protesting I finally just agreed. I was actually just a really chill night. I love when I can just be completely comfortable with someone cause that doesn't happen all the time.

Moving on to Saturday. Ha. Oh, Saturday. I probably could just leave it at that and it would be sufficient, but I won't. I was so hungover when I woke up, that kind where you make a mental promise to yourself to never ever drink again. Haha. BGJJ ended up dropping me off at around 2 and the first thing I did was take a shower to maybe try and wake up a little bit. Didn't help. Then I tried to eat something and that didn't help either. I had already woken up feeling pretty sick yesterday, so that and the fact that I was hungover wasn't a good mixture. I had plans for dinner later, but I sadly ended up sleeping through it. AND I was supposed to go to Gringos, too. Damn. I pretty much just felt miserable all day. One of my friends called me later and said that his other friend wanted to come over and pick me up so we could go out for round 2, cause I mean, turn down for what, right? Normally I would have been down, but I was non-functioning that day. I even had a couple texts from friends who were going out to this place called Bayou Live and wanted me to go with them, but oh no, I was home in bed by 10:30. So that was lame. Let's see, about 3:30 am my phone goes off and it's someone that I know who went to Bayou. Of course he was drunk. It was basically just one of those calls that you just have to let the other person say what they need to say no matter how mean it is. So yeah, that was that. I guess you really learn how a person truly feels after you listen to what they're saying when they're drunk. At least I learned some things that night. The rest of the night was really not worth me mentioning right now, cause it calls for another post completely. Anyway. I didn't really end up sleeping at all that night just for certain reasons. Just what a sick person needs - no sleep. Yay.

I already wrote about today for the most part. Just a whole lot of nothing happened, just me trying to sleep off and on.

So, I guess some of the things that I've been thinking about today is just the fact that I just don't think that I need to explain certain aspects of my life to some people. I'm not even trying to be a jerk, but really, I don't owe anyone any explanations of things that I do and how I live. Just because you live differently than I do and don't do certain things that I do it doesn't make you better or the way you live better. We just lead different lives and there's nothing wrong with that. Don't judge me because my reality is different than your's. I'm getting a little sick of it and sorry if that's a problem to some people, but maybe things need to change then. I'm just saying. I love the fact that there are some friends that I have who lead very different lives than the one I need, but yet when we talk, we aren't pushing beliefs don't each others throats or judging. It's a beautiful thing really. I'm not naturally a jealous person, so I guess I don't always understand things from other peoples' way of thinking, but sometimes, things are just unnecessary. Some people may think that I forgive too easily, and yeah, while I do agree, I forgive for myself first. What's the point in not forgiving when it's only going to be me that I'm hurting. There's no point in me letting petty things bother me. It kinda sucks when you see someone for who they really are and what they really think, but it is what it is in the end. Just like that Dr. Seuss quote says, "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." So perfect.

Well, this is probably it for me right now, we'll see how much longer I last tonight before I fall asleep.

Have a beautiful rest of the night!

You don't know what's in store, but you know what you're here for. (Weekly Favorites)

Yes, I know that it's Sunday today -this is something that I was going to post yesterday, but clearly from my last post yesterday, that didn't happen. I've decided that I want to do a favorites post every Saturday on here, so let's see how it goes. Let's just pretend that it's yesterday, yes?

---

Song: High For This // The Weeknd. Hopefully, I'm going to get to see him this Tuesday!

TV Show: I just bought the second season of American Horror Story: Asylum earlier this week, so I've been watching that a lot lately. So good! Really trippy and well done for a TV show.

Drink: Water! Ha. Actually for last week, I'll have to say it was some moscato wine that I was sipping on Friday night. It surprised me. Either that or some horchata that I had earlier in the week was quite good.

Food: Sadly, I never did get my Gringos fix. Still craving it. I did go to this place called Mi Tienda earlier this week though and had some Salvadorian tamales which was really good.

Clothing/Accessory: Honestly, I have a go-to black sweater that I usually keep with me to throw over whatever I'm wearing in case it's chilly. Works like a charm.

Moment: Friday night was pretty chill. I went to a hookah bar and got my hookah fix. I checked in with Foursquare and realized that it was my first check in for hookah in 5 weeks! Talk about being deprived! I love unexpected plans!

---

Excuse my ratchetness. :)

Honest to blog

I had every intention of posting today, but last night was crazy and I've been feeling the backlash of it all day today. I feel like I've just been in a daze the whole day. I didn't plan on anything that happened to happen last night, ha. I guess that's how things normally happen anyway.

As for tonight, we'll see if my understood Saturday plans happen. I'm not really going to trip if they don't, I'm still feeling like death from last night anyway.

Ah well, I wish that I could write more, but I'm having the hardest time focusing right now. Ugh. Hopefully I'll be able to get in a post tomorrow. I'm kinda sad, I was planning on doing a "favorite things of the moment" post today, but ohhhh no. Hungover me just can't handle that for right now.

Have a good Saturday night everyone, stay safe!

The sun loved the moon so much that he died every night to let her breathe.

I can't get over how beautiful I think that quote is in the title.
I can't get over how beautiful I think the love story between the sun and the moon is.

Maybe I'm the only one who thinks this way. If there's anyone who even reads this, you're probably just sitting there thinking about how strange I am. That's fine though.

"I asked the moon why he fell in love with the sun and he said "I've chased her all my life she makes me see the light, I know she's the one."

"Sometimes I think of the sun and moon as lovers who rarely meet, always chase, and almost always miss one another. But once in a while, they do catch up and they kiss, and the world stares in awe of their eclipse."

Give me a love like that.

Every so often, when I let my mind wander, I start to think that it would be nice to be in a relationship again. To have this other person to share things with; my life with. For me to be able to know that the person I kissed last week is the same person I kissed this week and will be the same person I kiss next week. It's all such pretty thoughts. Sometimes I think it would be nice for someone to know every little thing about my past and present, my flaws, my mistakes, my bad habits, and still love me anyway. To know the me when I wake up in the morning, the me when I'm alone, the me when I'm surrounded by people, the me when I'm drunk, the me when I'm sober, the me at 3 am, and still be fine with it all; that would be wonderful.

Other times, however, I don't think all that is in the cards for me, for now at least. Dating is weird. Well, it takes effort and time; effort and time that I don't want to invest in something if it's not really going to last. That's how I see it at least. If you date someone, you're either going to get married, or you're going to break up. It's kind of a weird thought, but it's true, there's not much gray area you can play with there. The last couple of people that I've gone out with didn't really progress into anything, and I don't really see the point in keeping anything going if I don't see any sort of future there. I think I'm just so used to being single right now; living how I want, doing what I want, that it's hard for me to think outside of the box that I've created and picture it any other way. "Catch no feelings, feel no pain." Honestly though, sometimes it gets a little old having all these randoms and side people, but other times it's the perfect situation; I don't have to answer to anyone about what I'm doing, where I'm going, and who I'm talking to. It's nice. At times. 

I have a couple friends who are engaged, married, pregnant, and some who have kids. Some of them are in really good situations, and others, I wouldn't want their life at all. I don't understand why some people find it so easy to settle, because the effort to be with someone else is just too much. As long as they're happy, then I guess, who am I to have something to say, anyway. If I ever get married one day, I just want to be happy. Truly happy. Maybe it's a little "Disney and fairy-tale" thinking, but I if I do ever get married, I just want to be married to that one person for the rest of my forever. I hate how it's so rare for anything to last these days; people find it so easy to cheat, and so hard to be faithful. It's sad. People get married and it lasts a year. Why? What is so wrong with our generation that the vows of forever mean nothing? For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. Does it not mean anything? I mean, really, does it not? So many times it's so easy for people to run and head for the door for a reason so small as a "rattle". I'm not saying this is the case for everyone, but I know it is the case with a lot. Can anyone just work things out?

I don't know, I think I'll go on staying single for now and I'll just continue doing me and what I want till someone worth it decides to change that.

“Even
After
All this time
The Sun never says to the Earth,
"You owe me."
Look
What happens
With a love like that,
It lights the whole sky.”

Live by the sun, love by the moon,

have a beautiful day, everyone.

The silence is over (for now).

So I realize that I've kind of been falling off again on this blogging thing lately. It's not that I haven't wanted to post, my laptop has just been acting funny lately, randomly shutting off, the track-pad will randomly not move, and it's just pretty annoying. I guess it's time for a new one. Yes? I don't really want to blog on my iPad until I buy a good keyboard cover/case. Any good recommendations?

Okay, back to my life now. I'm sad today is Sunday cause that means tomorrow starts real life again with work and all that lovely stuff.

This has been a pretty good weekend. Friday, I went out to eat for a friend's birthday. We were going to go to Gringo's, but the wait was like 2 hours, so we ended up going to Chili's instead, which wasn't bad at all. After that, I went out to some bar and met up with "RBG", I had told him that I just wanted to meet somewhere else for now and not at his apartment. Thought that was pretty smart if I do say so myself. Ha. It actually ended up to be pretty aca-awkward (Pitch Perfect reference, hell yeah.) because while we were there I ran into this other guy "BGJJ" (I realize that I haven't really named him anything in any previous posts, so that's just what we'll go with) that I hung out with that night that I went to that country club. So anyway, It was just awkward, cause we're all sitting there together and I'm just in the middle like "well this is fun." It happens.

After

Before

Saturday, one of my friends had an appointment to go get her hair done and she suggested that I go with her and see if they'll do a walk in for me to get my hair fixed from the god awful cut that that was talking about in a post a couple days ago. It looks a hundred times better now, but I still miss my length. Wah. I guess hair is hair and it'll grow back. At least the ends are fixed. My poor hair. At least 4 inches were cut off.

After the hair cut, we went to go watch the rest of a college football game at some bar. I seriously just wish that I understood more of what was going on. For now I'll just stick to cheering for the team with the better jerseys. Ha... I kid, I kid.

My friend had tweeted me yesterday that she was in town and wanted to get together, so we ended up meeting for dinner at Olive Garden and I finally got to meet her little man! He was adorable. Too bad he was asleep the whole time, though... maybe I'll get to see him awake today before she leaves. It's always nice to be able to catch up with old friends!

After dinner, I went out and had a couple drinks and then went back home. "GIWW" texted and asked if I could go over but I wasn't really in a place to drive, well, not unless I had a wish to spend the night in jail. He ended up coming over, but we didn't really do anything cause I was still buzzing hard. I felt so bad, but oh well, maybe I'll see him later.

Today, is usually my laundry/cleaning day, but I already did all that on Friday, so for now I'm just chilling in bed watching Portlandia. Later I'm going to the movies to see Insidious: Chapter 2, so yay! I'm excited. I'm so glad that my friend is in town because everyone else I know is so lame and they wouldn't go see it with me because they "don't so scary movies" ugh.

Okay, well bye for now, I have nothing else really interesting to write, at least not without changing the topic completely. Maybe I'll have to write another post later today.

Adios!

Still I Rise

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own backyard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

Maya Angelou


---

This is my favorite poem and I'm in love with it; it's just so deeply beautiful. "Still I Rise" is going to be the next tattoo I will get. Such a good reminder to have.

If you're going to change, change for the better.

If you're going to love me, love me deeply. 
If you’re going to break my heart, then break it all. 
If you’re going to care, care for me completely. 
If you decide not to hold me, then just let me fall. 
If you’re going to stay, then stay forever and if you want to leave, then do it today. 
If you’re going to change, change for the better. 
And if you’re going to talk, please mean what you say.

Happy Hump Day!

Ha... I just had to add the picture. Well happy Wednesday, everyone. I'm already 98% over this week. It hasn't been a horrible week so far- it's just been pretty blah.

I realize that I haven't really updated on last weekend. Maybe I will when I feel like putting all the events into words. For now, the memories will just occupy space in my head.

So let's back up to Monday. Monday was Monday. I had work as usual, I can't put into words how much that place is frustrating me lately. Everything about it is just getting to me. Later on I went out to this place called Star Cinema Grill to watch the Texans game with a friend. It was the first time that I had been there and I was pleasantly surprised. There wasn't a cover to get in- which is always nice, but I guess they get paid by their food and drink prices (which were pretty high). My friend and I got there a little early so we went to the bar and I ended up getting their El Mariachi, a coronita beerita- I don't really know why I did, it sounded good at the time. It was just really weak in my opinion. And for me, beer is an acquired taste that I'm not really all about. The only kind that I really like is Dos XX and Corona. I should have just gotten the fresh margarita. Anyway, the game was good, or so I heard the next day. There was no way that I could stay for the whole game... I was way too tired. I was basically falling asleep in the chair. Oops! Plus, sorry to be so un-American, but Football just isn't something that I get into. I don't even understand it. I've had numerous people try to explain it to me, and a couple really tried, like drew diagrams type of tried. Ha. It just never sticks with me. I'm more into soccer myself.

coronita beerita

Tuesday (yesterday), I decided that I was going to get my hair trimmed, now my hair is really long and I really hate getting it trimmed cause I don't like losing length. So yesterday, I decided that it was time to get my hair looking a bit more healthy so I went in and told the lady that I keep my hair mostly one length except for some shorter pieces in the front, I explained how I wanted to keep most of my length and she said she understood- wrong! Okay, so it's not like she murdered me of my length, she did leave it pretty long, but the cut- is honestly horrible, I had her fix it once and after that first time, I just decided "forget it, this lady is definitely not going near my hair again". She blunt cut it, just cut it straight across, not even at an angle. En serio? On top of that, it wasn't even even. She didn't even check both sides to see if they were even. Now I have to go somewhere on Saturday to get it fixed, which will probably leave me with about an inch or two cut off. I'm somewhat tempted to get it colored, too... like ombre highlights or something like that. I don't know, though... I've done the whole "highlighting" thing before and I was kinda over it after a couple weeks. I've just been wanting a change though. Hmm.

Some random pictures of me the day before my hair was murdered. Ha.

Today, well so far, has been decent. All I really did was work. Now, I'm just blogging.

Since I'm kind of feeling adventurous right now, I might as well just write about my weekend. I really didn't end up doing anything on Friday except for staying in and watching Law & Order SVU. I feel like I mention that show a lot, I usually find myself watching it on any down time that I have. I had an offer to go to someone's house later, but I decided I would just stay home. So that was Friday. Saturday, I slept in pretty late and I basically did a whole lot of nothing. "RBG" was texting me throughout the day (I guess we're talking again) and then he called me later asking me to go over and see him. I passed and said that I was feeling like I might be getting sick (which was actually true, I was) and that I was probably just going to be staying home. He told me that he wanted to see me the next day or else later in the week (yeah, yeah, maybe). Next, he told me "not to disappoint" him (what does that even mean?) and some other stuff that I won't repeat. I just laughed, cause it was honestly slightly amusing. Later on, I watched the movie "The Forgotten" on Netflix that I had previously talked about in my "Get to know me tag" post.  After that I just watched other random shows. I don't know what time it was by this point, but my friend "GIWW" texted and said he was coming over. It's not like he's a stranger to my house. It's an interesting relationship. I don't know, now I'm just rambling. I just know I always manage, like I've said before, to get myself in situations with people. All I know is certain things better do their job. After having a conversation with someone the other day, I've been freaked out over things. Specifically, things not working. Haaaa. Okay the end. New day. Sunday! Sunday was super chill, I slept in till around 1:30 cause I hadn't gotten to bed till late the night before. I lounged around all day and then later, I had a meeting at work which was honestly so pointless. I went out to eat with my coworkers after to none other than- Gringos! Big surprise there. So there you have it, that was basically is. My weekend.

All I know is that this week is moving along at turtle speed and that Friday needs to hurry on up.

Have a pleasant evening!

No means no.

 

Yes means one thing only:

FREELY given consent where both persons' 

needs, wants, and desires are an integral part of the interaction.

That is all.

The night is the hardest time to be alive and 3 a.m. knows all my secrets.

Sometimes when the memories hit - it hurts. This is one of those times.

I hate so much when I'm living life and all of a sudden I start getting flashbacks of events that I thought I had so far buried in the back of my mind that they would never resurface. Mind games. Memories flooding in, encumbering me. I don't think it's something that I've even fully dealt with yet. I suppose it's just something that I want to pretend never happened. So far I've been doing a pretty good job at it. It's always more difficult at night, because at night, that's when it's just me. Me. Alone with my thoughts. I haven't even said it out loud. I can't say it out loud. I won't say it out lot. If I don't then maybe that means it never happened. That's my thoughts on the matter anyway. Maybe I'm blowing it all out of proportion. Maybe it's not that big of a deal. Maybe I wanted it to happen. Maybe it's my fault. So many maybes that are taking up too much space in my head right now.

I struggle sometimes to be open and vulnerable on here, well mostly I struggle with trying to not be so open. Some days I wish I was completely anonymous so I can just let all my secrets out and not worry about who reads or what they think, and other times I just want people to know. It's like I want you to know, I just don't want to tell you.

I've been listening to the song "Breathe (2AM)" by Anna Nalick a lot tonight. The following verse is so me right now:

"2 am and I'm still awake writing this song, if i get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me threaten' the life it belongs to. And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd cause these words are my diary screamin' out aloud and I know that you'll use them however you want to."

I don't know if I'm ready for all my secrets to surface quite yet, so for now I'll continue trying to be somewhat vague. I'm not really putting too much effort into it, though. Even me rereading what I've written so far it's not too difficult to figure out. I'm already feeling a little over exposed right now and I'm very tempted to just hold my finger on "backspace" and erase this all completely. Watching all the words disappear just how I want my memories to.

Get To Know Me (Tag)

Well I have some time right now and I'm a little bored so I've decided to post a get to know me tag. Later I'll have to do an actual life update cause I definitely have some things to write about.

Name three things that are physically close to you:

My iPad, iPhone, and a bottle of water.

What's the weather like right now?

It's nice, it's night time now and 77 degrees. At least according to my phone it is.

What shows are you ashamed to admit are on your DVR?

Hmm maybe Teen Mom 3? Ha.

Do you have any siblings, and if so, where are you in the birth order?

I have a younger brother, I'm the oldest.

What physical quirk were you born with?

I was born with a very slight widow's peak. Does that count?

How old will you be turning on your next birthday?

Twenty-four! It's coming up so fast, just one more month!

Do you wear contacts or glasses?

I wear glasses. Mostly for close-up.

Would you ever go bungee jumping?

I'm on the fence about it now. I used to be a complete, flat out "no", but now I'm second guessing. Someday (very soon) I want to go skydiving, I feel as though there's less of a chance of anything "snapping".

Do you have any phobias?

Ha. Here goes: small, enclosed spaces, large bodies of water, bridges (hate them, I start getting dizzy if I have to drive over any type of bridge, but I'm not afraid of heights. I'm weird.), ceiling fans (I'm pretty positive they're going to fall on me in the middle of the night.), and sharks (I'll be that 1 in so-and-so people to get attacked by one. I just know it.)

Do you bite your nails? 

I do not.

What is your favorite color?

*Colors. Purple and turquoise

What is your favorite drink?

Frozen strawberry margarita - the best!

What was the last movie you saw? 

Last night I saw the movie "The Forgotten" on Netflix. I really don't even know what to think about that movie. It was one of those movies that when it's over you just sit there and think "what did I just watch?". It actually started pretty good, but then it just took a turn for the weird.

What does your last text message say? 

Hey what are you doing? Can you come over?
(Haha.)

Do you have any tattoos and/or piercings?

Both. A couple piercings on each ear and my nose. I really want to get my bottom lip pierced in the future, but we'll see. As for tattoos, for right now I have one - a butterfly on the lower back of my neck. More in the future.

Have you had a near death experience? 

I have, yes.

Have you ever been hospitalized, and if so, what for? 

I have, I guess it kind of goes with the previous question. I don't really want to get into it all right now, cause that probably requires a separate post completely. I was paralyzed for a while and I'll leave it at that.

Well, just kidding, I've been hospitalized other times, too. One time I went because I broke my ankle and then some other time that I can think of offhand is because I've had allergic reactions to some antibiotics and cough syrup that I've been on. I absolutely hate taking medicine cause my body is so sensitive to everything.

How tall are you? Do you wish you were taller, shorter...or are you just right? 

I'm maybe 5'2? If that. Most of the time I don't mind, but if I were about 3 inches taller jean shopping would be a whole lot easier.

Do you prefer to DIY or buy it? 

It depends what it is, honestly, most of the time I would rather just buy it than make it.

What do you eat for breakfast? 

If I actually remember to have something, I'll probably just have a bowl of Cheerios, but if I'm running out the door, I'll just have a protein shake in my Blender Bottle (love that thing).

Do you drive? If so have you ever gotten in a wreck? 

Yes and yes. Not a horrible one, though. I've been rear-ended 3 times. My car was actually totaled the last time I got hit.

What kind of phone do you have and what is your ringtone? 

I have the iPhone 4s as of now. I'm waiting till the 5s comes out to upgrade. *Fingers crossed* it's happening later this month. As for my ringtone, I never changed it from the default "Marimba".

Name something you want to do before you die:

Skydive.

Will you leave the house without makeup?

I most definitely would leave my house without makeup. Sometimes I just get in moods where I don't want to wear makeup at all.

You just unloaded your Halloween haul...what candy do you go for first?

Twix or Reese's. Definitely.

Personal:

Have you ever regretted kissing someone? 

No, not really.

Have you hugged someone within the last week? 

Yes.

Have you kissed anyone in the last five days? 

I have, yes.

What were you doing at midnight last night? 

I was home, watching Law & Order SVU.

Do you miss the way things were six months ago? 

Not really, no. Not too much has changed.

Have you ever been to New York? 

No, but I would love to go someday.

Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn't? 

There has been a couple times.

What are you listening to right now? 

Dancing Dirt Into The Snow // Missy Higgins

Think back five months ago, were you single? 

That, I was.

Hold hands with anyone this week? 

I have.

Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed? 

Maybe. Umm… let’s skip this question.

Who did you last see in person? 

The people that I work with.

Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? 

I would like to say yes, but I know that’s probably a lie.

Is it hard for you to get over someone? 

It just depends on the situation.

Have you kissed more than one person in one night? 

I have. I realize that these questions aren't really doing anything for me.

Are you good at hiding your feelings? 

Not really, if I’m upset it shows all over my face.

Who did you last share a bed with? 

Wouldn't you like to know... I think I’m just going to skip this one.

Are you listening to music right now? 

I am.

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Well that actually wasn't as exciting as I thought it was going to be. Pretty sure some of those questions really made me not look so great. Haha. At least now you know what kind of ringtone I have and I'm sure your life is a whole lot better now that you know that little fact about me. You're welcome.