So far gone.

Once upon a time
I thought that I could always
trust you.
I thought that you'd always be the one to
protect me.
That if I needed you
you'd be there.

You've changed so much, and I know I have to.
You hurt me with your words.
I don't know why you would.
I don't see how you can look at me and feel
fine about things that you say sometimes.
You say that I don't get over things,
but you don't realize how much I have
gotten over.
Always trying to look past things.
Sometimes it's just too much.
I need a
break.

I know I'm not perfect.
I never said I was.
Yeah,
sometimes I may have an attitude about things,
but that still doesn't give you an excuse to
say what you say
and
do what you do.

I am weak.
My hands are shaking.
Uncontrollably.
Even as I type.
My leg gave out on me and it's
shaking.
I've lost the feeling in my leg and
I'm scared.
I don't want to repeat the past.
Neurological issues.
It's horrible.
After what happened I can't take any type of stress or I'll start
losing control.
Of my balance and motor skills.
I hate it.

I can feel everything around me
spiraling
out
of
control.
I feel myself shutting down,
shutting out the world.
I don't want to be like that,
but I'm breaking.
I'm broken.

I'm so far gone
and
I'm so far over it.

s.l.