Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.

Once again, unbeknownst to myself even, I have apparently taken a hiatus from blogging. It really sucks and I wish I was more diligent about it, but ahh, I'm not.

In all honesty nothing has really changed so much from my last post. Sadly. Ha- that's not really saying much for myself except I guess that I lack willpower and self control. So yeah, two wonderful qualities to possess. Not. What was I talking about in my last post? Oh yeah, my drinking. It's really becoming an issue to me lately- I'm wondering if it's mostly in my head from obsessing over my failures to stop or control it, or if it's actually a problem. Most likely the latter. I haven't made any mistakes like I have a couple weeks ago with it, namely because I haven't had a chance to make those same mistakes since the people I made those mistakes with aren't really pro me right now. I drunkenly did stuff with someone that I shouldn't have done and there was someone else there whom I have also done stuff with so yeah, looks like I'm 0 for 2. They're both annoyed with me about the other which is understandable. I wish so bad that I could take that night back, but I can't. As of lately it's been constantly hanging over my head and I just want it to stop. The weekend after that I not so surprisingly drank again. In my defense, I never did get drunk, but still. Moving along to this past weekend I still not so surprisingly drank yet again. Now, I honestly didn't think I drank all that much- I have been a lot worse in my opinion and in the opinion of my friends, but for some reason, when I woke up the next morning (I even slept about 8 hours) I had no hangover at all because I was still drunk. I didn't even start to get a hangover until that night at around 11:30. It was horrible and lasted for the rest of the awful weekend. Anyway, in case you haven't seen a pattern yet, the problem is still there. Earlier today I heard something which really made me want to change. I'm not really hopeful, but we'll see.

I really just need a fresh start in a new city and new people to surround myself with.

Love and light.