Don't waste your worry on me, I always find what I need. (Weekly favorites)

Ahh, well it's Saturday night and I'm not even out. Like what? This never happens. Figured that since I'm not doing anything tonight, I might as well post this weekly favorites post since I always forget. So far tonight I've accomplished buying everything from Dessa, Banks, and The Weeknd, I guess you can say it's been a musically successful night. I could go for some wine right now while I watch the season premiere of Greys Anatomy since I missed it on Thursday. 

Now Playing: Fall Over // Banks

---

Song/Artist: Ever since I saw The Weeknd, I've been listening to a lot of: Waiting Game // Banks

TV Show: A lot this week, Big Bang Theory, New Girl, Parks and Rec, Modern Family

Drink: Hmm nothing too amazing this week, I've taking it a little easy on the drinking since I'm still all congested.

Food: Gringos quesadillas. Need I say more.

Clothing/Accessory: my charm bracelet. Nothing out of the ordinary, though.

Moment: Tuesday night when I got to see Banks and The Weeknd. Definitely.

Namaste

Bring the drugs, baby, I can bring my pain.

... I got my heart right here. I got my scars right here.

It's my official weekend right now and I'm so excited! Well, I'm still sick, just sinus/allergy stuff, but I'm not going to let that stop me.

Tonight, I'm going out to this place called Byzantio's. It's this chill Greek cafe & bar and on Thursdays they have belly dancers. I'd honestly be there a lot more if it was closer to me! Oh how I wish I lived in Midtown. They have a good hookah selection there, also, so I'm trying to decide if I feel like smoking tonight because I still have a sore-ish throat. IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY. Ha. And yes, that was a literal yell. I can't stand when my throat is messed up and I can't stop coughing. It's the most annoying thing to me. It's been a while since I've smoked some good shisha so I'm thinking that I will probably, most likely, smoke some. At least a hit. I'll just rest up before I leave and overdose on some Vitamin C and maybe do a line of Emergen-C. No big deal. I'm definitely going to be filling my clutch with Emergen-C packets tonight, no exception. I'll just add it to whatever I'll be drinking. Tequila & Emergen-C. Cause that's healthy... right?

Tuesday night, I went and saw The Weeknd at Bayou Music Center. I'm so in love. He performed songs from his album Kiss Land as well as the classics. And his opening act, Banks, was super chill, also. Definitely going to be buying her EP. Overall it was just a really awesome night. I even had a contact high from everyone who was lighting up by the time I left. Ha, kidding. I don't even think that's a thing.

Well, hopefully this will be a good weekend with good vibes. We'll see. They usually always end with some kind of story by the end of it. Namely alcohol and bad decisions.

Namaste XO

There is a light that never goes out.

We can't go back, we can only go forward.

Hello! Happy Sunday Funday to everyone! Except I'm sick and it hasn't been a real fun day. Sad day for me. I've honestly been in bed all day overdosing on vitamin C and feeling miserable and sorry for myself. I've had nothing better to do all day than think. About life. Relationships. Everything. So instead of letting all my mindless thoughts build up and explode into nothingness, I finally decided that I would just try to blog- even though even as I type, my fingers, along with the rest of my body aches.

So yeah. This weekend has been... interesting... if you will. A lot of unexpected things happened. Which I guess is basically the story of my life.

One of my friends called me up on Friday to see if he could stop over with one of his friends to kill time before they went to a movie. They came over and asked if I wanted to go, and since I was plan-less since my previous plans had fallen through I said yes. Closer to the time we were supposed to leave it started pouring and they decided not to bother with the movie. My hookah deprived self suggested that we go out to a hookah bar since the last time we had tried it was closed. This particular hookah bar is a byob, so naturally, we stopped to get some drinks. We picked up a bottle of wine- moscato, I think, and I got some lime-a-ritas. Once we got there I had the wine, I was feeling so good and was a little annoyed that I got the lime-a-ritas instead of another bottle of wine. We tried to sell them off, but didn't really have luck without being ripped off. The hookah was so good, but maybe that was also because I had been without it for so long and I've just been solely on my vape flow for the past 5 weeks. I like vaping, don't get me wrong, but I just personally prefer smoking shisha. I started to drink more than I was smoking at some point and I could feel a buzz starting. My friend called one of his friends to come out a little after we got there and he showed up with another bottle of wine. So exciting. Ha. I seriously need to step my wine game up, that stuff is good. Well, I guess we ended up staying there for maybe about 3 and a half hours. By time we left it was around 1:20 and we decided to go out to a bar. We only had about 30 minutes left by time we got there and I was already swaying. I ended up running into this guy I knew there who I really don't get to see all that much, so that was nice. He kept saying that he wanted to chill after, and I kept saying that I should probably just get home and sleep cause I was tired. While BGJJ was getting the car, his roommate was outside talking to me saying that I should go and that they would just drive me and then take me back later. I said I wasn't sure, and then out of no where he tells me that I better not hurt him (BGJJ) cause he was a really nice guy and that I better realize that, and that if I did he would be really upset. I already know that he's a nice guy and I told his roommate that I knew he was and that I had no intention of hurting him. I told him that I would go over, but that I would rather my friends just drop me off so I could get my car first and then drive back over. Once I got home, BGJJ calls and says that he would rather just pick me up cause he would feel better if I didn't drive and after me protesting I finally just agreed. I was actually just a really chill night. I love when I can just be completely comfortable with someone cause that doesn't happen all the time.

Moving on to Saturday. Ha. Oh, Saturday. I probably could just leave it at that and it would be sufficient, but I won't. I was so hungover when I woke up, that kind where you make a mental promise to yourself to never ever drink again. Haha. BGJJ ended up dropping me off at around 2 and the first thing I did was take a shower to maybe try and wake up a little bit. Didn't help. Then I tried to eat something and that didn't help either. I had already woken up feeling pretty sick yesterday, so that and the fact that I was hungover wasn't a good mixture. I had plans for dinner later, but I sadly ended up sleeping through it. AND I was supposed to go to Gringos, too. Damn. I pretty much just felt miserable all day. One of my friends called me later and said that his other friend wanted to come over and pick me up so we could go out for round 2, cause I mean, turn down for what, right? Normally I would have been down, but I was non-functioning that day. I even had a couple texts from friends who were going out to this place called Bayou Live and wanted me to go with them, but oh no, I was home in bed by 10:30. So that was lame. Let's see, about 3:30 am my phone goes off and it's someone that I know who went to Bayou. Of course he was drunk. It was basically just one of those calls that you just have to let the other person say what they need to say no matter how mean it is. So yeah, that was that. I guess you really learn how a person truly feels after you listen to what they're saying when they're drunk. At least I learned some things that night. The rest of the night was really not worth me mentioning right now, cause it calls for another post completely. Anyway. I didn't really end up sleeping at all that night just for certain reasons. Just what a sick person needs - no sleep. Yay.

I already wrote about today for the most part. Just a whole lot of nothing happened, just me trying to sleep off and on.

So, I guess some of the things that I've been thinking about today is just the fact that I just don't think that I need to explain certain aspects of my life to some people. I'm not even trying to be a jerk, but really, I don't owe anyone any explanations of things that I do and how I live. Just because you live differently than I do and don't do certain things that I do it doesn't make you better or the way you live better. We just lead different lives and there's nothing wrong with that. Don't judge me because my reality is different than your's. I'm getting a little sick of it and sorry if that's a problem to some people, but maybe things need to change then. I'm just saying. I love the fact that there are some friends that I have who lead very different lives than the one I need, but yet when we talk, we aren't pushing beliefs don't each others throats or judging. It's a beautiful thing really. I'm not naturally a jealous person, so I guess I don't always understand things from other peoples' way of thinking, but sometimes, things are just unnecessary. Some people may think that I forgive too easily, and yeah, while I do agree, I forgive for myself first. What's the point in not forgiving when it's only going to be me that I'm hurting. There's no point in me letting petty things bother me. It kinda sucks when you see someone for who they really are and what they really think, but it is what it is in the end. Just like that Dr. Seuss quote says, "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." So perfect.

Well, this is probably it for me right now, we'll see how much longer I last tonight before I fall asleep.

Have a beautiful rest of the night!

You don't know what's in store, but you know what you're here for. (Weekly Favorites)

Yes, I know that it's Sunday today -this is something that I was going to post yesterday, but clearly from my last post yesterday, that didn't happen. I've decided that I want to do a favorites post every Saturday on here, so let's see how it goes. Let's just pretend that it's yesterday, yes?

---

Song: High For This // The Weeknd. Hopefully, I'm going to get to see him this Tuesday!

TV Show: I just bought the second season of American Horror Story: Asylum earlier this week, so I've been watching that a lot lately. So good! Really trippy and well done for a TV show.

Drink: Water! Ha. Actually for last week, I'll have to say it was some moscato wine that I was sipping on Friday night. It surprised me. Either that or some horchata that I had earlier in the week was quite good.

Food: Sadly, I never did get my Gringos fix. Still craving it. I did go to this place called Mi Tienda earlier this week though and had some Salvadorian tamales which was really good.

Clothing/Accessory: Honestly, I have a go-to black sweater that I usually keep with me to throw over whatever I'm wearing in case it's chilly. Works like a charm.

Moment: Friday night was pretty chill. I went to a hookah bar and got my hookah fix. I checked in with Foursquare and realized that it was my first check in for hookah in 5 weeks! Talk about being deprived! I love unexpected plans!

---

Excuse my ratchetness. :)

Honest to blog

I had every intention of posting today, but last night was crazy and I've been feeling the backlash of it all day today. I feel like I've just been in a daze the whole day. I didn't plan on anything that happened to happen last night, ha. I guess that's how things normally happen anyway.

As for tonight, we'll see if my understood Saturday plans happen. I'm not really going to trip if they don't, I'm still feeling like death from last night anyway.

Ah well, I wish that I could write more, but I'm having the hardest time focusing right now. Ugh. Hopefully I'll be able to get in a post tomorrow. I'm kinda sad, I was planning on doing a "favorite things of the moment" post today, but ohhhh no. Hungover me just can't handle that for right now.

Have a good Saturday night everyone, stay safe!

The sun loved the moon so much that he died every night to let her breathe.

I can't get over how beautiful I think that quote is in the title.
I can't get over how beautiful I think the love story between the sun and the moon is.

Maybe I'm the only one who thinks this way. If there's anyone who even reads this, you're probably just sitting there thinking about how strange I am. That's fine though.

"I asked the moon why he fell in love with the sun and he said "I've chased her all my life she makes me see the light, I know she's the one."

"Sometimes I think of the sun and moon as lovers who rarely meet, always chase, and almost always miss one another. But once in a while, they do catch up and they kiss, and the world stares in awe of their eclipse."

Give me a love like that.

Every so often, when I let my mind wander, I start to think that it would be nice to be in a relationship again. To have this other person to share things with; my life with. For me to be able to know that the person I kissed last week is the same person I kissed this week and will be the same person I kiss next week. It's all such pretty thoughts. Sometimes I think it would be nice for someone to know every little thing about my past and present, my flaws, my mistakes, my bad habits, and still love me anyway. To know the me when I wake up in the morning, the me when I'm alone, the me when I'm surrounded by people, the me when I'm drunk, the me when I'm sober, the me at 3 am, and still be fine with it all; that would be wonderful.

Other times, however, I don't think all that is in the cards for me, for now at least. Dating is weird. Well, it takes effort and time; effort and time that I don't want to invest in something if it's not really going to last. That's how I see it at least. If you date someone, you're either going to get married, or you're going to break up. It's kind of a weird thought, but it's true, there's not much gray area you can play with there. The last couple of people that I've gone out with didn't really progress into anything, and I don't really see the point in keeping anything going if I don't see any sort of future there. I think I'm just so used to being single right now; living how I want, doing what I want, that it's hard for me to think outside of the box that I've created and picture it any other way. "Catch no feelings, feel no pain." Honestly though, sometimes it gets a little old having all these randoms and side people, but other times it's the perfect situation; I don't have to answer to anyone about what I'm doing, where I'm going, and who I'm talking to. It's nice. At times. 

I have a couple friends who are engaged, married, pregnant, and some who have kids. Some of them are in really good situations, and others, I wouldn't want their life at all. I don't understand why some people find it so easy to settle, because the effort to be with someone else is just too much. As long as they're happy, then I guess, who am I to have something to say, anyway. If I ever get married one day, I just want to be happy. Truly happy. Maybe it's a little "Disney and fairy-tale" thinking, but I if I do ever get married, I just want to be married to that one person for the rest of my forever. I hate how it's so rare for anything to last these days; people find it so easy to cheat, and so hard to be faithful. It's sad. People get married and it lasts a year. Why? What is so wrong with our generation that the vows of forever mean nothing? For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. Does it not mean anything? I mean, really, does it not? So many times it's so easy for people to run and head for the door for a reason so small as a "rattle". I'm not saying this is the case for everyone, but I know it is the case with a lot. Can anyone just work things out?

I don't know, I think I'll go on staying single for now and I'll just continue doing me and what I want till someone worth it decides to change that.

“Even
After
All this time
The Sun never says to the Earth,
"You owe me."
Look
What happens
With a love like that,
It lights the whole sky.”

Live by the sun, love by the moon,

have a beautiful day, everyone.

The silence is over (for now).

So I realize that I've kind of been falling off again on this blogging thing lately. It's not that I haven't wanted to post, my laptop has just been acting funny lately, randomly shutting off, the track-pad will randomly not move, and it's just pretty annoying. I guess it's time for a new one. Yes? I don't really want to blog on my iPad until I buy a good keyboard cover/case. Any good recommendations?

Okay, back to my life now. I'm sad today is Sunday cause that means tomorrow starts real life again with work and all that lovely stuff.

This has been a pretty good weekend. Friday, I went out to eat for a friend's birthday. We were going to go to Gringo's, but the wait was like 2 hours, so we ended up going to Chili's instead, which wasn't bad at all. After that, I went out to some bar and met up with "RBG", I had told him that I just wanted to meet somewhere else for now and not at his apartment. Thought that was pretty smart if I do say so myself. Ha. It actually ended up to be pretty aca-awkward (Pitch Perfect reference, hell yeah.) because while we were there I ran into this other guy "BGJJ" (I realize that I haven't really named him anything in any previous posts, so that's just what we'll go with) that I hung out with that night that I went to that country club. So anyway, It was just awkward, cause we're all sitting there together and I'm just in the middle like "well this is fun." It happens.

After

Before

Saturday, one of my friends had an appointment to go get her hair done and she suggested that I go with her and see if they'll do a walk in for me to get my hair fixed from the god awful cut that that was talking about in a post a couple days ago. It looks a hundred times better now, but I still miss my length. Wah. I guess hair is hair and it'll grow back. At least the ends are fixed. My poor hair. At least 4 inches were cut off.

After the hair cut, we went to go watch the rest of a college football game at some bar. I seriously just wish that I understood more of what was going on. For now I'll just stick to cheering for the team with the better jerseys. Ha... I kid, I kid.

My friend had tweeted me yesterday that she was in town and wanted to get together, so we ended up meeting for dinner at Olive Garden and I finally got to meet her little man! He was adorable. Too bad he was asleep the whole time, though... maybe I'll get to see him awake today before she leaves. It's always nice to be able to catch up with old friends!

After dinner, I went out and had a couple drinks and then went back home. "GIWW" texted and asked if I could go over but I wasn't really in a place to drive, well, not unless I had a wish to spend the night in jail. He ended up coming over, but we didn't really do anything cause I was still buzzing hard. I felt so bad, but oh well, maybe I'll see him later.

Today, is usually my laundry/cleaning day, but I already did all that on Friday, so for now I'm just chilling in bed watching Portlandia. Later I'm going to the movies to see Insidious: Chapter 2, so yay! I'm excited. I'm so glad that my friend is in town because everyone else I know is so lame and they wouldn't go see it with me because they "don't so scary movies" ugh.

Okay, well bye for now, I have nothing else really interesting to write, at least not without changing the topic completely. Maybe I'll have to write another post later today.

Adios!

Still I Rise

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own backyard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

Maya Angelou


---

This is my favorite poem and I'm in love with it; it's just so deeply beautiful. "Still I Rise" is going to be the next tattoo I will get. Such a good reminder to have.

If you're going to change, change for the better.

If you're going to love me, love me deeply. 
If you’re going to break my heart, then break it all. 
If you’re going to care, care for me completely. 
If you decide not to hold me, then just let me fall. 
If you’re going to stay, then stay forever and if you want to leave, then do it today. 
If you’re going to change, change for the better. 
And if you’re going to talk, please mean what you say.

Happy Hump Day!

Ha... I just had to add the picture. Well happy Wednesday, everyone. I'm already 98% over this week. It hasn't been a horrible week so far- it's just been pretty blah.

I realize that I haven't really updated on last weekend. Maybe I will when I feel like putting all the events into words. For now, the memories will just occupy space in my head.

So let's back up to Monday. Monday was Monday. I had work as usual, I can't put into words how much that place is frustrating me lately. Everything about it is just getting to me. Later on I went out to this place called Star Cinema Grill to watch the Texans game with a friend. It was the first time that I had been there and I was pleasantly surprised. There wasn't a cover to get in- which is always nice, but I guess they get paid by their food and drink prices (which were pretty high). My friend and I got there a little early so we went to the bar and I ended up getting their El Mariachi, a coronita beerita- I don't really know why I did, it sounded good at the time. It was just really weak in my opinion. And for me, beer is an acquired taste that I'm not really all about. The only kind that I really like is Dos XX and Corona. I should have just gotten the fresh margarita. Anyway, the game was good, or so I heard the next day. There was no way that I could stay for the whole game... I was way too tired. I was basically falling asleep in the chair. Oops! Plus, sorry to be so un-American, but Football just isn't something that I get into. I don't even understand it. I've had numerous people try to explain it to me, and a couple really tried, like drew diagrams type of tried. Ha. It just never sticks with me. I'm more into soccer myself.

coronita beerita

Tuesday (yesterday), I decided that I was going to get my hair trimmed, now my hair is really long and I really hate getting it trimmed cause I don't like losing length. So yesterday, I decided that it was time to get my hair looking a bit more healthy so I went in and told the lady that I keep my hair mostly one length except for some shorter pieces in the front, I explained how I wanted to keep most of my length and she said she understood- wrong! Okay, so it's not like she murdered me of my length, she did leave it pretty long, but the cut- is honestly horrible, I had her fix it once and after that first time, I just decided "forget it, this lady is definitely not going near my hair again". She blunt cut it, just cut it straight across, not even at an angle. En serio? On top of that, it wasn't even even. She didn't even check both sides to see if they were even. Now I have to go somewhere on Saturday to get it fixed, which will probably leave me with about an inch or two cut off. I'm somewhat tempted to get it colored, too... like ombre highlights or something like that. I don't know, though... I've done the whole "highlighting" thing before and I was kinda over it after a couple weeks. I've just been wanting a change though. Hmm.

Some random pictures of me the day before my hair was murdered. Ha.

Today, well so far, has been decent. All I really did was work. Now, I'm just blogging.

Since I'm kind of feeling adventurous right now, I might as well just write about my weekend. I really didn't end up doing anything on Friday except for staying in and watching Law & Order SVU. I feel like I mention that show a lot, I usually find myself watching it on any down time that I have. I had an offer to go to someone's house later, but I decided I would just stay home. So that was Friday. Saturday, I slept in pretty late and I basically did a whole lot of nothing. "RBG" was texting me throughout the day (I guess we're talking again) and then he called me later asking me to go over and see him. I passed and said that I was feeling like I might be getting sick (which was actually true, I was) and that I was probably just going to be staying home. He told me that he wanted to see me the next day or else later in the week (yeah, yeah, maybe). Next, he told me "not to disappoint" him (what does that even mean?) and some other stuff that I won't repeat. I just laughed, cause it was honestly slightly amusing. Later on, I watched the movie "The Forgotten" on Netflix that I had previously talked about in my "Get to know me tag" post.  After that I just watched other random shows. I don't know what time it was by this point, but my friend "GIWW" texted and said he was coming over. It's not like he's a stranger to my house. It's an interesting relationship. I don't know, now I'm just rambling. I just know I always manage, like I've said before, to get myself in situations with people. All I know is certain things better do their job. After having a conversation with someone the other day, I've been freaked out over things. Specifically, things not working. Haaaa. Okay the end. New day. Sunday! Sunday was super chill, I slept in till around 1:30 cause I hadn't gotten to bed till late the night before. I lounged around all day and then later, I had a meeting at work which was honestly so pointless. I went out to eat with my coworkers after to none other than- Gringos! Big surprise there. So there you have it, that was basically is. My weekend.

All I know is that this week is moving along at turtle speed and that Friday needs to hurry on up.

Have a pleasant evening!

No means no.

 

Yes means one thing only:

FREELY given consent where both persons' 

needs, wants, and desires are an integral part of the interaction.

That is all.

The night is the hardest time to be alive and 3 a.m. knows all my secrets.

Sometimes when the memories hit - it hurts. This is one of those times.

I hate so much when I'm living life and all of a sudden I start getting flashbacks of events that I thought I had so far buried in the back of my mind that they would never resurface. Mind games. Memories flooding in, encumbering me. I don't think it's something that I've even fully dealt with yet. I suppose it's just something that I want to pretend never happened. So far I've been doing a pretty good job at it. It's always more difficult at night, because at night, that's when it's just me. Me. Alone with my thoughts. I haven't even said it out loud. I can't say it out loud. I won't say it out lot. If I don't then maybe that means it never happened. That's my thoughts on the matter anyway. Maybe I'm blowing it all out of proportion. Maybe it's not that big of a deal. Maybe I wanted it to happen. Maybe it's my fault. So many maybes that are taking up too much space in my head right now.

I struggle sometimes to be open and vulnerable on here, well mostly I struggle with trying to not be so open. Some days I wish I was completely anonymous so I can just let all my secrets out and not worry about who reads or what they think, and other times I just want people to know. It's like I want you to know, I just don't want to tell you.

I've been listening to the song "Breathe (2AM)" by Anna Nalick a lot tonight. The following verse is so me right now:

"2 am and I'm still awake writing this song, if i get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me threaten' the life it belongs to. And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd cause these words are my diary screamin' out aloud and I know that you'll use them however you want to."

I don't know if I'm ready for all my secrets to surface quite yet, so for now I'll continue trying to be somewhat vague. I'm not really putting too much effort into it, though. Even me rereading what I've written so far it's not too difficult to figure out. I'm already feeling a little over exposed right now and I'm very tempted to just hold my finger on "backspace" and erase this all completely. Watching all the words disappear just how I want my memories to.

Get To Know Me (Tag)

Well I have some time right now and I'm a little bored so I've decided to post a get to know me tag. Later I'll have to do an actual life update cause I definitely have some things to write about.

Name three things that are physically close to you:

My iPad, iPhone, and a bottle of water.

What's the weather like right now?

It's nice, it's night time now and 77 degrees. At least according to my phone it is.

What shows are you ashamed to admit are on your DVR?

Hmm maybe Teen Mom 3? Ha.

Do you have any siblings, and if so, where are you in the birth order?

I have a younger brother, I'm the oldest.

What physical quirk were you born with?

I was born with a very slight widow's peak. Does that count?

How old will you be turning on your next birthday?

Twenty-four! It's coming up so fast, just one more month!

Do you wear contacts or glasses?

I wear glasses. Mostly for close-up.

Would you ever go bungee jumping?

I'm on the fence about it now. I used to be a complete, flat out "no", but now I'm second guessing. Someday (very soon) I want to go skydiving, I feel as though there's less of a chance of anything "snapping".

Do you have any phobias?

Ha. Here goes: small, enclosed spaces, large bodies of water, bridges (hate them, I start getting dizzy if I have to drive over any type of bridge, but I'm not afraid of heights. I'm weird.), ceiling fans (I'm pretty positive they're going to fall on me in the middle of the night.), and sharks (I'll be that 1 in so-and-so people to get attacked by one. I just know it.)

Do you bite your nails? 

I do not.

What is your favorite color?

*Colors. Purple and turquoise

What is your favorite drink?

Frozen strawberry margarita - the best!

What was the last movie you saw? 

Last night I saw the movie "The Forgotten" on Netflix. I really don't even know what to think about that movie. It was one of those movies that when it's over you just sit there and think "what did I just watch?". It actually started pretty good, but then it just took a turn for the weird.

What does your last text message say? 

Hey what are you doing? Can you come over?
(Haha.)

Do you have any tattoos and/or piercings?

Both. A couple piercings on each ear and my nose. I really want to get my bottom lip pierced in the future, but we'll see. As for tattoos, for right now I have one - a butterfly on the lower back of my neck. More in the future.

Have you had a near death experience? 

I have, yes.

Have you ever been hospitalized, and if so, what for? 

I have, I guess it kind of goes with the previous question. I don't really want to get into it all right now, cause that probably requires a separate post completely. I was paralyzed for a while and I'll leave it at that.

Well, just kidding, I've been hospitalized other times, too. One time I went because I broke my ankle and then some other time that I can think of offhand is because I've had allergic reactions to some antibiotics and cough syrup that I've been on. I absolutely hate taking medicine cause my body is so sensitive to everything.

How tall are you? Do you wish you were taller, shorter...or are you just right? 

I'm maybe 5'2? If that. Most of the time I don't mind, but if I were about 3 inches taller jean shopping would be a whole lot easier.

Do you prefer to DIY or buy it? 

It depends what it is, honestly, most of the time I would rather just buy it than make it.

What do you eat for breakfast? 

If I actually remember to have something, I'll probably just have a bowl of Cheerios, but if I'm running out the door, I'll just have a protein shake in my Blender Bottle (love that thing).

Do you drive? If so have you ever gotten in a wreck? 

Yes and yes. Not a horrible one, though. I've been rear-ended 3 times. My car was actually totaled the last time I got hit.

What kind of phone do you have and what is your ringtone? 

I have the iPhone 4s as of now. I'm waiting till the 5s comes out to upgrade. *Fingers crossed* it's happening later this month. As for my ringtone, I never changed it from the default "Marimba".

Name something you want to do before you die:

Skydive.

Will you leave the house without makeup?

I most definitely would leave my house without makeup. Sometimes I just get in moods where I don't want to wear makeup at all.

You just unloaded your Halloween haul...what candy do you go for first?

Twix or Reese's. Definitely.

Personal:

Have you ever regretted kissing someone? 

No, not really.

Have you hugged someone within the last week? 

Yes.

Have you kissed anyone in the last five days? 

I have, yes.

What were you doing at midnight last night? 

I was home, watching Law & Order SVU.

Do you miss the way things were six months ago? 

Not really, no. Not too much has changed.

Have you ever been to New York? 

No, but I would love to go someday.

Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn't? 

There has been a couple times.

What are you listening to right now? 

Dancing Dirt Into The Snow // Missy Higgins

Think back five months ago, were you single? 

That, I was.

Hold hands with anyone this week? 

I have.

Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed? 

Maybe. Umm… let’s skip this question.

Who did you last see in person? 

The people that I work with.

Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? 

I would like to say yes, but I know that’s probably a lie.

Is it hard for you to get over someone? 

It just depends on the situation.

Have you kissed more than one person in one night? 

I have. I realize that these questions aren't really doing anything for me.

Are you good at hiding your feelings? 

Not really, if I’m upset it shows all over my face.

Who did you last share a bed with? 

Wouldn't you like to know... I think I’m just going to skip this one.

Are you listening to music right now? 

I am.

------

Well that actually wasn't as exciting as I thought it was going to be. Pretty sure some of those questions really made me not look so great. Haha. At least now you know what kind of ringtone I have and I'm sure your life is a whole lot better now that you know that little fact about me. You're welcome.

My body is a canvas.

Well, I'm sad to say that I never made it out to the Body Art Expo at Reliant today. It has been stormy and rainy all day so I just stayed in. I would say there's always tomorrow, but I have errands to run during the day and then a meeting at work later. What a drag.

I'm planning for the next time I can go to the tattoo shop and get some script beneath a butterfly I have on the lower back of my neck. I've known for years that it's going to say "She flies with her own wings", but I'm just debating if I want it in English, or Latin, "Alis volat propriis". Hmm. Decisions. I'm already thinking about planning a consultation for the next tattoo I want to get- I'm so excited. It's going to be a gypsy to match my gypsy soul. Haha. As of now, I want it on the outer side of my right ankle area.

All I really want in life is to work someone where it doesn't matter if I have tattoos or piercings, I get so sick of having to take out my nose ring everyday at work. Ha, I've gotten so much crap for that piercing, I don't even know why. I remember this elderly man once going on and on about this "unnatural hole in my nose" that I needed to take out. I just smiled and said that he was entitled to his own opinion and that I was entitled to mine. I just need to be in a creative environment.

Everyone's body is a canvas. All beautiful, whether yours in covered in tattoos, piercings, or you're an ink/piercing virgin. You. Are. Lovely. Seriously, can we all please just get along? Having tattoos/piercings/blue hair does not make you better than if you don't & not having all that doesn't make you any better than someone who does. That's the same thing for drinking, smoking, and anything else you want to throw in there. Not doing it does not make you any better than someone who does. It's that simple. Just let people live their own lives. Are you really that bored with your own life that you have to critique someone else's?

You're beautiful and your life is full of the beauty that you've created. Food for thought.

Go insane, go insane; Throw some glitter, make it rain.

Well officially- TGIF!

It's been a good day so far! Yesterday I was talking about all these plans for tonight (which are still going on), but now all I really want to do is just cuddle up with someone and watch a movie tonight. All I'm missing is - you guessed it - a "someone". Sigh. I'll probably end up going out and getting in some kind of trouble. Story of my life. Well, I really don't know what it is, but lately, it seems that everyone that I'm associated with is very into going to country dance clubs. Umm, what? Obviously I missed something cause I haven't quite hopped on that bandwagon yet. Yes, I know I live in the Lone Star State, but "country" isn't really up my alley. Attempting to two step was fun, but I don't see myself making it a weekly routine. Ha. Earlier, someone asked me when we were going to go dancing next, and tonight, my friend texted me and said that he might be going to another country venue if I wanted to go. So, maybe. We'll see. Hell, dancing isn't even my thing, unless you want to see me get ratchet to some hip-hip songs (which I've done on occasion). Wobble, anyone? I'm more of a sit-down-and-have-a-good-time bar goer, conversation partaker, live music listener, hookah smoker, & vaper. Those things sound perfect to me.

Well, I'm off to do my hair for whatever I end up doing! I'll post later about what I did. Maybe. If I'm up to it.

(* Side note: I just reached to take a drink from the cup on my nightstand and it was sweet tea, so who knows, maybe I'm more southern than I thought. Haha.)

Happy Friday, be safe.

Please don't judge me, and I won't judge you...

"... cause it could get ugly, before it gets beautiful."

Hello! Happy Thursday, everyone. I'm glad that I actually got a happy post in yesterday, because today has definitely not been the same story. At least yesterday's post showed that I'm not always bitter. Ha.

Today hasn't been horrible, but it hasn't necessarily been jump-out-of-your-chair awesome. I had work in the morning (as usual) and I forgot to eat before (as usual). I ended up having to stay late to help a member, all the while dreaming off food and leaving. Well, I get off work and the car breaks down... so that's always a fun time. I wait at the car place for what seems like forever before someone picks me up to drop me off at home. Foodless. By this time I'm just in a horrible mood. I went online and ordered some pizza, and about 40 minutes later finally ate for the first time. It was glorious.

Well basically everything that I've written up until this point has been pointless and I bored myself even typing it.

I'm a little bitter right now that I opted for some unknown reason to stay in tonight. I could be at Big Texas right now- another country dance hall & saloon. I missed out on thirsty Thursdays completely. It could all be for the best, because tomorrow is just Friday and I have work and it probably would be frowned upon if I went in all wobbly, although it wouldn't have been the first time.

This weekend should be good. I'm either going to a karaoke bar or hookah bar tomorrow night, haven't quite decided which one yet. Also, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday there is a huge Body Art Expo happening that I really want to go to - at least one of the days. There's going to be over 300 tattoo artist and piercers. So awesome. I know I want more tattoos, but I think if I went this weekend that I would just get something pierced. No definite plans for this Sunday yet, but I'm sure there'll be something going on.

I'm kind of hoping that I'll see a certain person again this weekend, but at the same time I'm not sure. I can't really back out, though, I knew exactly what I was getting into. Sorry for speaking in code right now, that was basically just me thinking out loud.

Hmm, what else? Is it really just 10 pm right now? I'm both happy and sad about that. Happy that I'm actually getting this over with at a decent time, and sad that I'm actually home and have the time to type this at this time. It is what it is.

Too much information paragraph- and go! Well, I have this itch that I can't really scratch. It's been going on for about an hour and it's driving me crazy. It's a side-boob itch... and I can't really just keep scratching my boob without drawing attention to myself, but I mean who the hell really cares, right? Right? I swear to goodness that a mosquito bit me there... that damn thing. At least my "itching period" on my tattoo is over. I swear all that itching was making me lose my mind! Had me wanting to just peel off my skin, which actually would have just been worse. Maybe.

I wish I was out. I wish I had a margarita.

Okay, I guess I'll sign off and watch Law & Order SVU for the rest of my night like any ordinary spinster.

Enjoy the rest of your Thirsty Thursday!

I'd like to take a minute, not to complain, but to say thank you.

Currently: Sitting in bed. "Watching" SVU (more like I have it on for background noise). Sleep deprived.

This is going to be short and sweet since I'm honestly way too tired to be awake right now. I have to say, today was a super lovely day. I worked for a bit in the morning, and straight after I had lunch with my dad at a place called Taqueria Del Sol. If I could marry a place, it would be that place. If you've ever been there I'm sure you know what I mean. After lunch, I went home to rest a while and then I headed back out to get my nails done- Lord knows how badly they needed attention. Nude pink with leopard designs. If I kick the laziness I'll post a picture. I just recently started going to a new nail salon after going to my old salon for maybe two and a half years and I love it! ... and not just because they serve complementary drinks. After getting my nails "did" I went home - and I'm not ashamed to say - that I did nothing the rest of the evening. It's been a while since I've had a day to just rest, relax, and do whatever my heart desired.

To some up today: my stomach is happy, my nails are happy, and I'm happy.

Off to bed for me, reality in the early AM! Sleep well, lovelies.

Weekend reflections

Well I figured that since I was doing semi-decent on this whole posting thing - I would post again. I'm just so proud of myself. I hope everyone had a lovely three day Labor Day weekend. I enjoyed my one day off today, catching up on some much needed sleep and hanging out with some friends.

Aside from me having to work, I had a pretty good (but somewhat drama filled) weekend. Earlier this week, some friends were planning on going to this country dance club on Friday... I agreed to go, even though it's normally not my scene. I figured that I would just stick out like a sore thumb since I hadn't ever two-stepped or line danced before and also for the fact that I don't own any "country" looking clothes or boots. Ha. Sounded like a fun filled, awkward evening- definitely up my alley. Before going, we all went to eat at this Mexican food restaurant, which by the way, has the best margaritas. The waiter suggested a stronger tequila which of course I had to try, he even said that he'd buy it if I didn't like it, but hello, how could I not like it?

Heaven in a glass! 20oz of beauty in liquid form.

So moving right along, after eating (and drinking) we all drove back to my house so we could take one car to the club. And no, let me settle your worrisome minds, I was not driving. You're welcome. Upon arriving at the place I felt like I had walking into the world of cowboys and beyond, everyone was walking about in their boots and cowboy hats (about as I expected.). We had gotten there a bit early so there wasn't too many people on the dance floor, so we hung out at the bar till more people got there. Even after my protesting, someone insisted that he was going to show me how to two-step... it was fun, although I had no idea what I was doing. I was so convinced that every time he spun me I was going to fall, but thankfully, I didn't. Some people that I knew showed up a little later, so I started just hanging out with one of them. I didn't dance anymore cause I was starting to "wobble" so I decided to let my friend, and the table hold me up. Haha. Everyone was still just having a good time, going with the flow, and then all hell decided to break loose. Maybe that's over exaggerating a bit, it wasn't a big dramatic scene for all to see, it was just a private matter. It started out with a simple question, that escalated into pure pettiness. I ended up leaving with another friend and then some other people we knew who met us there. Everything ended on a good note for me, not between me and my friend though, but just in general. I guess you can't please everyone and I've just learned not to even try. I really just don't like drama, especially when it's petty and it gets unnecessarily drawn out. So there's that. As for the rest of the night and what happened- I think I'll just leave out that. For now at least. I just always manage to get myself into certain situations with people.

Unfortunately, I had to work on Saturday, which meant that I couldn't sleep in. I probably tried to wake up for an hour before actually succeeding. I got up finally and drug myself outside where I was rudely greeting by the brightness of the day. Really sun? You couldn't do me a solid and disappear for a while? I got dropped off at my house where I proceeded to change out of the previous nights clothes- the thing I don't like about clubs is that I always end up smelling like an ashtray later. I threw my hair back, made myself look as presentable as I possibly could, and then drove myself to work. Work was work, it was actually the absolute slowest day ever and I probably did the equivalent of nothing the whole time I was there. The only thing that I did was make plans to go out to eat later with some friends. Anyway, I finally get off work and I go straight home. I decide that I'll take a short nap, so I lay down. Well, four hours later I finally wake up and I see a couple text messages and phone calls that I missed- oops. There went my nonexistent dinner. By now it was probably 10:30 and I decided that I would just stay in bed and watch SVU for the rest of the night. Later though, one of my friends that I had mentioned in a previous post texted and ended up coming over for a couple hours, so I ended up getting to bed at around 3. So much for sleeping early. It ended up being a pretty good night though.

Sunday, I worked yet again (surprise, surprise). It actually went by semi decently fact compared to Saturday. I got off, went home, rested, and then finally met the friends that I was supposed to meet the day before to eat. We went to the same Mexican restaurant that I went to on Friday, I guess you can say I'm addicted. I got home at a decent time and had nothing else to do so I went to sleep. It was wonderful.

Today, well technically it's yesterday now, I was off so I slept in till around 1:00. I seriously get so excited now when I go to sleep and don't have to set my alarm. I got up, took a shower, and then checked my phone and saw that I had a missed call and voicemail from "RBG" that I had mentioned maybe 2 posts ago. I had no idea why he would be calling me- we haven't talked for maybe 3 weeks. He's the one who acted like a man child the last I saw him. I never ended up calling him back. He texted later asking me to go over to see him, but I didn't end up replying. I honestly kind of wanted to, but decided against it. If he wants to get back in my life it's going to be on my terms. The rest of the day was relaxing, I didn't really do anything super interesting, but it was nice.

Right now, I'm super tired, but I made myself stay awake so I could at least finish this post. I can't wait to lay my head down on my pillow. I really wish I didn't have to work early in the morning, but it is what it is. I guess I'll go ahead and call it a night! Sleep beautifully.

I love this