Cheers

So, I was sleeping and I suddenly woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep. Naturally, I turned on my laptop and decided to write things down in hope that my own thoughts would bore me back into going to sleep. We’ll see how it goes.

Sunday, was my birthday. I turned twenty-two. I’ve been thinking a lot lately and wondering: what exactly do I have to show for that? The answer is nothing. I haven’t accomplished anything great or done anything amazing- I’m not known by anything. I wish I was just really good at something, I wish I had “a thing”. I just seem to sort of float on by and I hate that. I don’t want to just exist. I want to be more and do more. I know that I can’t just say things like that; I know that I actually have to apply that to my life. Everything always starts off as a pretty little idea and then that’s how it always stays- an idea.

Honestly, I really don’t try to be as negative as I sometimes portray…

OK, my idea somewhat worked, my thoughts made me somewhat sleepy. Goodnight(:

Dear Beloved,

I am remaking you. I know this is a painful, confusing process, but it’s because you can only see the steps. You don’t see the outcome yet. When I look at you, I don’t see someone “under construction”. I see the end result, and it is so, so beautiful.

Here’s a glimpse of what that finished masterpiece will look like:

You will have hands that will never cease to give out forgiveness, mercy, compassion, and grace.

Your eyes will see the beauty in others, even on days when it is difficult. You will begin to see others as I see them and as I see you: Brilliant, beloved, creations of mine.

Your lips will speak the radical, amazing truth. So many are hurting right now because of the lies they have been told about the world, about themselves, and about me. Your words will bring them life.

You will have feet that run to the aid of those who are broken and in need. You will stand and fight for justice and for the opressed, but you will not grow weary from doing our work together, because I will strengthen you.

Your mind will dwell on pure, lovely, righteous thoughts. You will think of joy and beauty and love. Think above all on love, dear, because that is the best way to reach others.

Your heart will be hopeful, trusting, patient, and completely and totally given to the love of others. I will fill you with joy and peace.

All of these things take time, Beloved, and some areas need more work than others. Just hang on to me, because we’re not finished yet. But when we are, I promise,you’ll love the final product.

Yours eternally,
God

It’s Not Always Rainbows & Butterflies.

Tonight, I am alone with my thoughts, and I hate nights for that very reason. Throughout the day I occupy myself (or find people to occupy me) and keep myself busy, but then when the night time rolls around, I am alone. Alone with my thoughts, not just whispering to me, but shouting at me.

Sometimes I want to run away and disappear. Today, well, right now is one of those times. I’m finding myself wanting to leave and start over somewhere else completely. I feel as though I may be ready for it, but then I question if I’m just trying to escape from everything. Is that reality? No. I do know that, but sometimes running is so much easier than standing still and accepting.

On a side note, I can hear it raining outside my window and that is just lovely.

Goodnight moon.

“Rain, rain, go away, 
Come again another day, 
All the world is waiting for the sun. “

This could be the start of something new.

Yes, I believe that I did just quote High School Musical, don't judge me.

Once again, I am writing to say that I want to give this whole blogging thing a second chance. If it lasts, great, if not, well, there’s always a third chance? Yes.

I don’t really want to get all deep with this, more like everyday thoughts, random saying that come into my mind, pictures/songs that describe my mood, or even just pictures/songs that I think are pretty. If I’m up to it I might write more than 5 sentences, but don’t hold your breath- that is definitely not advised.

So, that was that. Thank you and have a nice day. <3

(On a side note, I think it's slightly funny that my last post on this blog was posted exactly a year ago today...that is all.)

-S