Come as you are, but change as you go.

Meet Nalini! (Finally)

I know that I said I would post some pictures of my cat a couple posts ago, so here it is. Finally. I could post fifty pictures right now, but I'll try to just post a couple. You'll be able to see how much she's grown. Ahhh!

Everyone, meet my fur child, Nalini.

 

I didn't want to give her any ordinary name, so I searched for something a little unique and came across "Nalini" which means "like the lotus" or "lovely" in Sanskrit. She's a black/gray Mackerel Tabby.

I got her from some family friends on March 22 when she was just 6 weeks old and she just turned 6 months old on August 12. She's growing up too fast. Ha. I am that crazy "animal parent". I sometimes find myself just talking about her way too much, it's like word vomit, but cute. I even got my mom sending pictures of her to her friends. :)

She can be a little demon sometimes, but that comes with being a kitten I suppose. I wanted her to get used to and like being around people when she was just a little kitty, so she's very social, and for the majority of the time, sweet. She follows me around everywhere and is a total lap cat (on me at least). She gets into everything that she possible can, so for now, my room is looking a bit more bare than it used to. Sad day. Just recently, she started waking me up early in the morning by howling and howling, so that's just perfect, not. Who needs coffee or alarms when you have a cat to wake you up every morning? Right? Sure.

After getting her, I went from zero to cat lady real fast. I don't mind, though. She keeps me company and brings me a lot of joy. Cats, in my opinion at least are a very calming presence.

Alright, well that's about it. Hope all you cat lovers enjoyed this post ONLY about my cat. Haha. For all of those who aren't, sorry, I just had to dedicate a whole post to her. I'm kind of amused at myself for writing all this about her, but that's okay.

Search the hashtag #NaliniCat to see more pictures of her on Instagram!

Hope you all enjoy your night!

Love&Light,

-S

Tumblr!

If you're so inclined, follow me on tumblr – anabiosis.tumblr.com.
I'm updating that a lot more than I am this blog right now, seeing as my laptop is elsewhere and I'm only using my iPad. Also, there is no writing, only posting and re-blogging pictures and such that make my heart happy. I'd love to see all of your beautiful blogs as well!

Love & Light!

"You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it."

Robin Williams was an original, brilliant, and unique comedic talent and actor. His words touched the lives of countless people, including mine.

My heart has been weighing heavy today after hearing of his passing. I'd never met this man, but I feel as through I knew him through all the characters he had personified. I believe that most everyone could relate to at least one. He lived to make people laugh, and laugh they did. I feel lucky that he could be a part of my childhood. He touched so many, and that's a beautiful thing. He accomplished so many things in his dash, and I can only hope to do the same. He truly left his mark on this world. I just feel so sorry that he was in so much pain as to take his own life.

I find it funny when people get upset when one mourns a life of whom they did not personally know, but when a life is lost, it should be mourned.

Death is so final. So sad. It kills me inside to know that there are people who are in so much pain that they take it upon themselves to set themselves free. It bothers me when people think there is no such thing as true depression. Depression is a very real illness that is often invisible to the speculating eye; it can be debilitating, and it does not discriminate. Don't judge what you cannot understand. If there happens to be someone out there reading this who is depressed, I just want you to know, you deserve life, you deserve happiness, and you deserve to be helped. Please, please don't feel alone.

Mr. Williams, thank you for being unapologetically yourself, and for inspiring me to do the same. Thank you for the life lessons, smiles, laughter, and good memories. You were a beautiful spirit, and will not be forgotten. I'm sorry that you couldn't find your own happiness, but you're free, you're free, you're free...

May you truly rest in peace.

(Robin Williams: July 21, 1951 — August 11, 2014)

The eyes are useless when the mind is blind...

Testing, testing, one, two, three...

Wow. So it's been a while. Four months of a while. I just kind of wanted to check in and update as to not let this blog completely dwindle down to nothing. So, how are all of you beautiful souls? I know that there has to be some updates with me since the last time that I've posted. Let me rack my brain.

Okay, first of all, I left my job that I previously had and I've got to say that it was one of the better decisions that I've made for myself. For what it was and the amount of stress it was causing to me just wasn't worth it. It's kind of sad to think that I spent a good four plus years at that place, but I honestly believe that I did the right thing. When I started to dread going to a place that I once liked a lot, I knew that wasn't right. It's sad that the way this certain place was run by the directors changed the whole dynamic. This took place back in April.

Yes, and another big update is that I am now a cat mommy. I've turned into a full-fledged cat lady and I don't even mind one bit. I named her Nalini which means "like the lotus" or "lovely" in Sanskrit. She brings me a lot of joy, so if I'm crazy, I'm crazy. I'm not going to write too much about it on this post because I'm pretty sure she needs her own. Ha.

Those are probably the two main things that I have changed since I've last posted. My going out has decreased dramatically, which is both good and bad. These last two weeks I've been going out though, so I guess I just contradicted myself. Ha. I'm not really in the mood to discuss the events that happened these last couple days because I don't really feel like typing a whole short story right now. Yesterday, though, I went out with some friends and I smoked hookah for the first time in forever and I was feeling it big time afterwards with a headache. Not so pleasant if you ask me.

I'm thinking hard here on what to really write about, I didn't plan on this, so I'm just winging it. Sorry.

Umm, let's see... I think that in these last four months, my relationships with certain people have changed a lot. That's another things that's both good and bad. Overall, I think that everything happens for a reason and that there are some relationships with people in my life right now that aren't worth pursuing anymore. That's just the way life goes, I suppose. (That rhymed.)

Well, that's it for me. I'm going to try and upload some pictures of Nalini now. Hopefully I can discipline myself enough to update this thing more. Have a beautiful night! Namaste.

Things I'm not good at and other random thoughts.

Oh, hi, I'm back. Most likely it'll only be for a short while again. 'Cause hey, why lie and tell you that I'll post everyday when I know I won't? 

I don't know why I wanted to make this list, I just did. So, in no particular order, here you go.

1. Prioritizing. 
There's always something that I seem to find more interesting to do. Uh hello, why would I want to act like a functioning human being when I could be watching a documentary on Netflix about hippies traveling to India seeking enlightenment. I mean, seriously? On a side note, there really is a documentary about hippies traveling to India and I did watch it... and I liked it.

2. Making small talk when I'm really not feeling it. I don't understand why I'd put so much effort into a conversation that I don't want to be apart of. Seriously, people... life is only so long. Don't waste it on boring conversations. If I happen to be the boring person that you're stuck talking to, then by all means, walk away. I won't be offended. I wish some people would get my so called subtle hints of one word answers and not asking follow up questions. Move on to your next victim, please. The only time I ever try to put a little effort into unwanted small talk is when I'm at work... and it kills me. You had Cheerios for breakfast and a sandwich and yogurt for lunch? Oh pleeease tell me more. Sigh.

3. TEXTING in general.
That should have been number one. Well, I don't actually know... I happen to think that I'm brilliant at texting, but I've been told otherwise at times. I guess you could call me a lazy texter. I sometimes have a habit of reading a text message and mentally replying without actually replying. Then, when I'm sitting around wondering why Betty Lou is taking so damn long to reply, it is then that I realize... it was me. Sorry if you have been on the opposing end before. It's a condition and I'm trying to work on it.

4. Texting when drunk.
I should probably make a completely separate list of "Things I'm Bad at When I'm Drunk" buuut, that takes way too much effort. Moving on, when I'm drunk, I just can't text. To the person on the receiving end of my texts, you'd think that a baby got a hold of my phone. I remember one time, I got pretty drunk and when that happens, I get text happy. Needless to say I was heavily using my phone. Anyway, I had texted so much gibberish one night that the next day when I was fine and feeling good, my phone auto corrected my right words to wrong ones. What the duck? Also, one time I could not for the life of me manage to type my pass code in right and I locked myself out of my phone for an hour. Talent right there.

Okay, I decided that while I'm slightly on the subject of drunkenness I will make a sub-list. Very innovative of me.

• 4.1. Seeing when drunk.

I swear my sight leaves me when I start feeling a little buzz. I just sit there like a little, blind bat squinting at everything. A blind bat is probably a horrible example to use since they have excellent vision, so I'll say a little, blind... person? Sure. The other night I thought I was going blind because I couldn't see for what I felt like was hours. I was out and I was squinting at my phone, probably making weird faces because I was concentrating so hard.

• 4.2. Walking when drunk.

I'm pretty sure that's a given... with some people... right? I don't know, maybe it's just me. I look like a small child learning how to walk, I'll do alright for the first couple steps, and then I'm on the ground. Or else I'll think that I'm walking straight and then out of nowhere I'll run into a tree. Pretty sure this is all normal stuff, even if it's not that's what I'm going to keep telling myself.

• 4.3. Talking when drunk.

The last on my drunk list. I can't talk when I'm drunk. I just can't. And just to clear things up with everything that I've sub listed so far, I don't do these things when I'm just buzzed and feeling some drinks, I'm actually talking about when I'm at the point of no return drunk. Moving on, whenever I talk or try to talk when I'm drunk I sound like a stroke victim. Please don't take offense to this, because I'm just kidding around. I just like talking in cursive.

• 5. Sleeping.

I'm just not and I wish that I was. I try to go to bed at a decent time, but I end up lying awake for hours. What does it feel like to be a normal person?

• 6. Being nice or replying nice when someone is stupid or asks a stupid question.

Sorry, can't do it. Don't ask me something stupid and not expect a stupid answer. I usually just end up staring at the person until they ask something else or walk away. It works at times.

• 7. Being serious.

I can't be completely serious without throwing a little bit of sarcasm out there.

• 8. Finishing lists.

I tried, I could have gone on and on, because I'm pretty sure that there are plenty of other things I'm not good at, but I'm not feeling it anymore.

Bye!

Love&Light.

“I wish I could write as mysterious as a cat.”

As I sit in the silence at almost one in the morning, my mind can't help but to wander. There are so many things that I want to write about, but don't. I hold myself back for fear of being too open and vulnerable with the world of internet blogs. I feel as though in some of my previous postings that I have been too candid with some things that go on in my personal life. At the same time, I don't want to be too passive or closed off, either. Sometimes, I'll go through and re-read past posts and I'll just be so tempted to delete them and start over. I feel so exposed. I'm not sure what changed with me as to why I want to, if you will, "hide" lately, it just happened.

These past couple weeks have been somewhat hard for me health wise. I know that I just recently posted about when I got sick back in 2009, and recently I've been starting to get similar episodes. Not full on paralysis, but dizziness and blacking out episodes. It's not as much scary as it is frustrating. Why can't I just feel well? I feel as though I already went through a little bit of hell 5 years ago, so why is it coming back? I figure that I'll just make the most of it... there's not much one can do with something that is out of their control. I'm really looking into going to a holistic doctor lately, because the health care system just really frustrates me. I have the utmost respect for doctors, but too often than not, it just seems like they have a general list of maybe 3 things that they look for and if you don't fall under one of those then you are pronounced "fine", when a lot of times its something different and they just don't do the research needed to figure it out.

Thinking positive thoughts over tomorrow! Love & Light.